from a different perspective.
Helpful Advice
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly he burst into the kitchen. “Careful … CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOSH! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOSH! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful … CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? 
Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”
The wife stared at him in disbelief. “What the hell is wrong with you? Do you think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband then calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”
Not just driving.
That’s exactly what Arleen sounds like when I’m cooking.
Best wishes,
Jerry
My mother was the worlds greatest backseat driver, and she could sound a lot like that. Since all of our relatives were in East Texas or the Houston area, and we generally lived everywhere else (MS, FL, LA, North and South Texas), we spent an inordinate amount of time on the road–we always went to Texas for Christmas and for summer vacations.
My father, however, was totally unflappable. I think I learned a little of that from him, along with a love of Tex-Mex music.
In my mother’s defense, when she was a teenager, she was riding in a car that was in an accident in which someone was killed, and it made a big negative impression on her. She hated driving, herself. (And I guess I learned that from her.) One day, when she was in her 70s, she was driving home, lost control of the car, and ended up in the front yard of the Methodist church a block from our house. She never drove again.
Ever considered family counseling? 
you fellas should be thankfull you have a wife that can cook!
i remember from being around 4 years of age, i always felt hungry in the nighttime,
my grandmother looked after me, i always loved here, but she wasn’t a great cook.
so i’d feel lucky if i were you!
and now i still have to cook myself, what a moaning :roll:
LOL… there’s a young man who fancies my eldest daughter, and who acts like this when she drives (he doesn’t have a car). She’s actually a pretty good driver, but he was in a bad accident a couple of years ago and is very, very nervous… she’s decided that he may not be right for her… thank the POB!
Who ever said Arleen can cook? (She can, actually. She does some cooking, I do some cooking, the girls do some cooking. It’s a good thing.)
Best wishes,
Jerry
My wife, Carol, and I enjoy doing many things together. Gardening, hiking, biking, playing games, making music 
, etc. At our place, we have a roomy eating area but a tiny kitchen. Carol does the majority of the cooking, and I try to get in there and cook myself two or three nights a week. When I cook, she hovers. It’s not to tell me what to do, but to help. I usually chase her out of the kitchen, telling her that she’s been busting her butt all day and deserves a short break. The whole idea of me cooking is to do my share and help take one chore off of her hands. She giggles and, reluctantly, leaves the kitchen smiling and shaking her head.
Our kids are now 14 and 11, and the 11 year old really enjoys cooking. She gleans recipes from a variety of sources and plots out her next project with zeal. The only problem is, if I dare try to help her, she chases me out of the kitchen and insists I take a break. Physically barricades the door even, that grinning little punk.
Kids these days.
Jef
My granddaughter (who’s quite a good cook) often says, “Grandpas these days!”
We brought Lalitha home from India when she was eight. She already knew how to cook (in an eight year old sort of way).
Soon after she got here, before she had much grasp of English, we took her to Girl Scouts with her sisters. As it happens, for several weeks during that time, the Girl Scout troop was concentrating on cooking. Lalitha thought this was strange. Why would you go somewhere to visit a bunch of people and then for recreation, cook (i.e., work)?
Best wishes,
Jerry
I find cooking to be much easier than driving.
Me to. And, on average, less likely to result in death or dismemberment. (I did specify “on average”.)
After having coached two teens through the driving process (with 2 to go,) I have a great appreciation for the subtlety required in minimal-intrusion passenger seat driving. They normally prefer me over their Dad who makes noises like “auuuwaaahhh!” or “there’s a CAR COMING!”
it’s all right to help each other out, it’s nice to be nice, do stuff together, but…
i think it’s wise not to coach your partner, if i tryed that, i’d be over in casualty 
Teaching somebody to drive and teaching someone to cook is way differant
First men always think they know best when it comes to both.
Secondly.
Bad driving KILLS, bad cooking only makes you eat out more.
I had to give up teaching my wife to drive, because she never took me seriously.
The end came when we were approaching a stop sign at about 30 mph.
I said:
“We’re getting pretty close to that stop sign, you’d better slow down.”
“Slow down.”
“SLOW DOWN!!”
“STOP!!!”
"STOP!!!
STOP!!!
STOP!!!
Once through the intersection, she finally stopped–in the middle of the street, turned to me and, in a hurt voice, asked, “Why are you yelling at me?”
That’s why there is Lucky Charms and public transportation.
JP
Lucky Charms is evil.
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t
feel like it, I just want you to hold me”.I said “WHAT!!! What was
that?!”
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man”. She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
“Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so, I told her,
we’ll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said
“Lets get a pair for each outfit”. We went on to the jewelry dept.
where she picked out a pair of Diamond
earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought
I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet, when she doesn’t
even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I
said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing you-know-what
from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is
all dear, let’s go to the cashier”. I could hardly contain myself when
I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it”. Her face just went
completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then
said, “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while..
You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me I added, “Why can’t you just love
me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”
Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either. :roll:
Is that because leprechauns are evil? Or is it because of the high sugar content?