Men Are Just Happier People.

Poststructural Pub
1

Men Are Just Happier People. What do you expect from such simple
creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take
care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a
water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station
room because this one is just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
The occasional well-rendered belch is expected. New shoes
don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more
than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are
unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle
lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and
neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big
hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes. One color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. ! You can “do” your
nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing
a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
minutes.
You don’t freak-out when you go to a party and see another man wearing
the same shirt, instead you become buddies.

2

Now that just ain’t true! (Unless you’re talking about milk chocolate…)

Tell that to my greying beard.

3

YES!! This is why each morning I get out of bed, scratch, face east, and belch my thanks to whatever higherpower is out there that I am what I am!!

:smiley:

Mark

4

LOL!

Well I think they were referring to ‘age spots’… which, for unknown cruel reason, are more evident on feminine faces than masculine ones.

Personally I prefer people just the way they are made… lumps, wrinkles, greying hair, spots and all.

5

The author of this list has obviously never had to wear a jock strap.

6

Unless you are prone to overprotection in daily life, I think the “almost never” and the “in public” should be sufficient disclaimer. … well?

7

Personally? Almost never. :wink:

But what about professional (or even amateur) athletes?

8

I find this sexist (towards both men and women).

9

Alright, here’s my assessment:

10

OK… I’ll give ya that one. :laughing:

11

I find women sexiest.

12

Happy! Happy happy happy. I’m just SOOOOOOOOOO fecking happy!

Rum-tum-tiddly-tum …

djm
:slight_smile:

13

Father Jack? Is that you?

Feck! Arse! Girls!

14

Let us now bow our heads and recite the Man’s Prayer:

I’m a man…

but I can change…

if I have to…

I guess.

Amen.

Best wishes,
Jerry

Edited to correct inadvertant blasphemy.

15

I thought it was “…if I have to…” :confused:

16

Oh! It changes to “because she says so” when you get married to a woman. That’s the confusion, I think.

17

Actually, I was thinking of Homer Simpson, but I do share a strikingly similarity to both. Such fine manly men they are! A credit to their gender, and an inspriation to us all. :slight_smile:

djm

18

Oops.

There, I’ve fixed it.

Best wishes,
Jerry

19

I guess if you have to blaspheme, inadvertant blasphemy is the best kind of blasphemy… y’know, if there could be such a thing as a best kind of blasphemy.

20

“The Best Kind of Blasphemy”–that sounds like a Sylvia Plath poem, doesn’t it?

Mabey I should try to write it…