I built a fire last night. With the help of liquid boyscout I got the soaking wet wood burning bright. The guy across the street and a few of his friends came over and we sat around the fire enjoying the “guy” comraderie I haven’t had in a long time. When the rain got too heavy we went in the gazebo and played cards.
There was a woman too. She was incredibly charming and vivacious and she wore a shirt that revealed nothing yet suggested hidden charms. I was awestruck. I couldn’t resist turning on the charm. I wanted to be next to her. I wanted to make her smile and laugh.
She was my wife! My wonderful, beautiful, precious wife and I fell in love like a moonsick teenager. She became “that girl”. The girl I flipped my lid over nearly 20 years ago. I saw her for the first time every time I gazed her direction last night around the fire and the card table.
And no, I wasn’t drunk unless water is an intoxicant.
And I FELT. Like the Colorado River after a spring thaw it roars inexorably. I FELT. I FEEL. Can anyone understand what it’s like to feel when your emotions have been as dry as Death Valley for years? Pure, raw, unabashed feeling.
I hope this post doesn’t violate any rules but you guys are my friends and I can’t…I refuse… to to hide under a bushel. I’m gonna let it shine.
I want to run down the road and yell, “This is my wife. My soulmate. Isn’t she beautiful? I love her!!!”
She’s my fantasy and my reality. She’s my heart, soul, body and mind. She’s all the lovesongs ever written. If she left me today it could not erase what I’m feeling right now.
It’s raining outside but the sun is shining for the first time. HA! I’m feeling and I’m shaking and I want to cry for the sheer joy and I don’t understand but I am loving it!
I was reading along and I was thinking, “Isn’t this guy married?” and I was feeling sort of disturbed, like I really didn’t want to keep reading. I was really so glad when the woman you were talking about turned out to be your wife! I don’t know what happened, but if everything seems okay to everyone then who cares .
Sometimes we all get so busy and we get this incredible forward momentum, the next thing, the next time, the next day off, the next weekend…
So much so that sometimes we forget where we are, what we have…even who we are.
Like folks on vacation with a camera, who often fall into the trap of being so busy trying to capture their good memories that they forget to have any, sometimes we get so busy trying to find the good life that we forget to live it.
And I am as guilty as anyone.
Thanks for this great post…my wife doesn’t know why I just looked over at her and smiled softly, but that’s ok, because I know for both of us.
You’re lucky to have times like that. Lots of people settle for “not too bad”. Been there. Done that. What you have is LOTS better-- trust me on that one!
(PS-- my wife is from Michigan too{as I gather yours is from your "location}, and I feel the same way about her. What is it with these Michigan women? )
One of the sweetest things I’ve ever read. Thank you for sharing it. Don’t spend too much effort analyzing the mystery of the event…just hold on to it, with all your heart.
Gee I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I was afraid it was too personal.
Peeplj, I’m glad my post inspired you.
I did even better than just tell her, Lamby, I put the toilet paper on the spindle. Facing out for easy access.
Here’s another thing. This morning I started to make coffee and the pot was all set up and ready to go. Water, coffee. All I had to do was tap the button. That was one of the sweetest things she could have done. Just for me!
I have just passed the 20 year mark (last Monday) with my wife. I swear, it just keeps getting better and better.
Flydood, this topic and the post that began it, is exactly how I feel every single day about my wife. It is so refreshing for me to see that there are other hopeless romantics still walking the face of the Earth. Thank you for standing up and being counted among them.
edited to add: … she doesn’t, however, set up my coffee maker. What’s your trick to get yours to do that?
I sense you have been off your oats, so to speak, of late, and perhaps, just perhaps, I can shed some light on this sensitive subject.
You cannot help the way you feel. It’s hormonal. It’s genetic. It’s deeply imprinted on the Y chromosome. You have hit that stage in life at which you are compelled to either (a) have an affair, (b) change careers, or (c) buy a sports car.
It seems you still like your wife, so if you are also happy with your job, then it is essential that you implement (c) post haste or everything is going to fall apart. Tyler can help you find one. I’d suggest a vintage Triumph or MG myself, but muscle cars count, too.
(Unless that 20-something, hot friend of your daughter’s keeps ogling your legs, in which case, you have to decide for yourself where your priorities lie, but if it were me, I’d forget about the car.)
And one more thing – that little trick with the toilet paper violates Guy Code, Chapter 9, Section 3, paragraph d (Vilenesses – Bathroom Vilenesses – Toilet paper). I’m not going to report you, but you are making life hard for the rest of us by setting a good example. I would wager half a dozen or more chiff spouses got whacked upside the head with a roll of TP over the weekend and don’t have a clue as to what they did wrong.
Beautiful! I felt similarly profound during the first week of my first child’s life. It felt so rich and right.
That said, it does sound like what happens in men around a certain age. When it leads to something bad, it’s called a midlife crisis. But men at that age do tend to suddenly feel things in a deeper way than they have in years. I’m glad yours is directed toward a positive place.
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