Top 10 Things Moms Would Never Say

Poststructural Pub
1

As a follow up to the ‘Things Mom Said’ thread, I offer:

:slight_smile:

  1. “How on earth can you see the TV if you’re sitting so far back?”

  2. “That’s fine, I used to skip church a lot, too.”

  3. “If you need more sugar and caffeine I’ll get you that 46 oz. Coke.”

  4. “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery.”

  5. “Let me smell that shirt – yeah, that’s good for another week.”

  6. “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.”

  7. “Well, if Timmy says it’s okay, then it’s good enough for me.”

  8. “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”

  9. “Please take that jacket off, the wind chill is bound to improve.”

  10. “No, I don’t have a tissue. Oh well, just use your sleeve.”

2

“Oh, just leave your stuff there, honey. It’ll be handier that way.”

3

:laughing:

Good one!

4

I might be inclined to say that one… :wink:

5

“Nah, you don’t need to eat your vegetables. Just have 2 pieces of cake instead.”

6

“Nah, don’t worry about the time- come home whenever you are ready, or, what the heck, stay out all night if you want to.”

7

Don’t bother calling…I know you’ll get home safely.

8

No, it’s ok, I like folding clothes, go ahead and throw your clean ones all over the room if you like.

Go ahead and change into three outfits a day and put them in the laundry when you’re done, we have a really deep reservoir and I have nothing to do but laundry anyways!

Oh please, go ahead and have a nice big snack right before I put dinner on the table, I know that appetizers improve the taste of food.

Aw come on, leave your best shoes out in the rain in the yard, it’s only money after all.

No, I don’t mind if you eat yogurt in the car with no spoon.

Make sure and wake me up just as I’m dozing off with your best smoke detector imitation, I live for the thrill.

Please honey, if you think you’ll dent your glasses playing on the playground, make sure you put them in your pants pocket where they will be safe.

By all means, have some bacon and then play the piano, don’t bother to wash your hands, the grease makes your fingers just fly over the keyboard.

Aw sweetie, if you want to be a really good basketball player, you need to aim higher…like the chandelier.

No, it’s good for my computer if you push that button really fast.

Well, the temperature dials on the freezer are really just a suggestion, anyways. Go ahead and put it on “zero”.

Robin

9

Oh hon, it’s only noon; why don’t you sleep in today!!
:laughing:

10

Sweetie, go watch TV! You can do your homework on the bus in the morning.

11

Run through the house all you want! Exercise is good for you. And toss that ball around inside while you’re at it, it’s good for your hand-eye coordination.

Please, put your feet back up on the furniture. I want you to be comfortable.

12

“We have plenty of insurance.”

That pretty much covers it in my case.

13

"You haven’t changed your underwear for 2 weeks? Well, if you turn them inside out, you can get another 2 weeks out of them, so don’t worry about it! "

“Make sure that you side into home during practice…I don’t mind cleaning out the mud and muck”

“Go ahead and climb 10 feet up into the tree in the backyard. The ER is only 5 mins away when you fall!” (coincidentally, we just lived this one a couple of weeks ago :stuck_out_tongue: )

14

“Be sure and change into your Sunday clothes before you go out and play freeze tag.”

“You don’t need to wear clean pants, because if you get in an accident you’ll probably mess them anyway.”

15

When our oldest child was 3, he loved broccoli so much that sometimes we thought he’d eat enough to make himself sick. One day, we caught ourselves saying …

“No more broccoli until you finish your fries.”

:astonished:

16

“Don’t give a kiss to your grandmother, she didn’t shave today.”

17

“You’d save time crossing the road if you wouldn’t stop and look both ways, first.”

18

“If you make long successful studies, you’ll have a boring life, just be a movie star”

19

‘Don’t forget to leave the toilet seat up.’

‘Must you tidy up your bedroom? You’re getting as anal as your father.’

‘15 and you haven’t got tats or piercings? What’s wrong with you?’

20

No scooters are not that dangerous! What’s your problem, are you afraid?