Jerry Freeman posted something in the Whistle Forum that reminded me of what my dad used to say about picks. Dads all seem to have had something ready to say for any circumstance. Especially circumstances that would embarrass you in front of your friends.
It’s not father’s day, but since it came to mind I thought I’d “share” with the group…
When our “friends” proved themselves unworthy:
You can pick your friends,
and you can pick your nose.
But you can’t wipe your friends under the table.
When he wanted to mess with our heads:
You can pick your friends,
you can pick your nose,
and you can pick a banjo.
But you can’t pick your friend’s nose with a banjo.
Then there’s the elusive mathematical conundrum:
If a centipede a pint,
and a velocipede a quart,
How much would a precipice?
What goofy thing did your dad, grandpa, or uncle say that used to drive you crazy, but now you can never forget.
My dad didn’t have any goofy sayings but he would cut paper with “skissors”, and joke about being “swayve and de-boner”. He would do that a lot, I guess, when he was in a goofy mood - pronounce words the way they looked.
I can’t remember any goofy things my Dad would say, although I do remember thinking some of the stuff he did was goofy. However, as I got older I realised he wasn’t as dumb as I thought.
He had some favorite expressions that he used a lot, and still uses occasionally. One got me in trouble just a little while ago; “Woosh…That went over your head!”
If you were to ask my daughters this question I can tell you what they would answer:
“Close enough for government work”
“You can’t see it from Harlem” which refers to a street about a few miles form our home and was said whenever they got too exacting while completing a project
100 years…all new people.
“It’s in the Dad book.” That was a line I first pulled when they were little in order to avoid the “Because I said SO!” argument. To my surprise they bought it. It worked for a couple of years, till my oldest wised up one day and demanded to see this ‘Dad book’ I was always quoting.
The first one that comes to mind is that when we kids asked what was for dinner, my dad would often answer “Farkleberries.” I assumed it was just a funny word he made up, but there actually is such a thing. Apparently they don’t taste very good.
Oh yeah, and “Saoul, and you’re a boy!” when you did something remarkable, and
“It just lets you know what it shows you.”
When asked “how are you” he would reply with a smile: “I am hanging together by a couple of frayed threads.” This caused a lot of trouble to people who could not make out his Norn Iron accent.
“He tripped over a straw and a hen kicked him” when anyone did anything clumsily.
My kids will tell you that I say “People who like this sort of thing will find that this is the sort of thing they like.”
My dad, a retired high school chemistry teacher, used to say “stop this rowdyism” when trying to quell the miscreants. If that didn’t work, he wasn’t averse to pulling out the CO2 fire extinguisher. I’m not sure you can get away with that these days.
This thing got a ton of airplay back in the early 60s – Perry Como singing “What Did Delaware?”
What Did Delaware?
Oh what did Del-a-ware boy, what did Delaware
What did Del-a-ware boy, what did Delaware
She wore a brand New Jersey,
She wore a brand New Jersey,
She wore a brand New Jersey,
That’s what she did wear
One, two, three, four
Oh, why did Cali-fon-ia
Why did Cali-fon
why did Cali-fon-ia
Was she all alone
She called to say Ha-wa-ya
She called to say Ha-wa-ya
She called to say Ha-wa-ya
That’s why she did call
Uno, deis, tre, quatro
Oh what did Missi sip boy
What did Missi sip
What did missi sip
Through her pretty lips
She sipped a Minne sota
She sipped a Minne sota
She sipped a Minne sota
That’s what she did sip
Where has Oregon boy
Where has Oregon
If you wan Al-ask-a
Go ahead and ask her
She went to pay her Texas
She went to pay her Texas
She went to pay her Texas
That’s where she has gone
Well how did Wis-con-sin boy
She stole a New-brass-key
Too bad that Arkan saw boy
And so did Tenne-see
It made poor Flori-di boy
It made poor Flori-di, you see
She died in Miss-our-I boy
She died in Miss-our-I
Oh what did Del-a-ware boy, what did Delaware
<<It made me shudder then when I was only 10, and it still makes me shudder.>>
