I know Uilliam closed his post, but the topic of tuning reminded me of one the jokes I usually tell when I am setting up to play with others. Usually, folks are watching what I am doing because they may not have seen or heard the pipes before. When I have enough attention, I often say “I tune to the international bagpipe standard.” Folks always ask what that standard is, and I always reply, “Whatever pitch they are playing right now!”
There has not been much enthusiasm for others to tune to me (especially by the harp and box players), and a remarkable lack of sympathy regarding my tuning woes.
I did a little search, and didn’t find any thread on bagpipe jokes, so I thought I would see if anyone is interested in sharing theirs (again??).
An old favorite to get things started: What’s the difference between a piper and a pizza? Answer: A pizza can feed a family of four.
The one I use is: You know how you can tell a bagpipe is out of tune? Someone is playing it.
Seriously, though I unless the weather is changing rapidly, I rarely have debilitating tuning issues. I check my A against a tuner before I head off to the session and then push any other notes that might be a bit off into tune as I go.
But this thread is about jokes, not tuning, so here’s a few more.
How do you get perfect pitch on a set of bagpipes? Its not easy, you have to get the right loft to pitch them into the center of the pond
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the bagpipe band warming up.
Oh God… That is no longer politically fair game to use in these United States… Hockey Moms and Obamanations… blah!
And for Jokes…
How many uilleann pipers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five, one to handle the bulb and the other four to contemplate how Willie Clancy would have done it.
Why did the uilleann piper get mad at the drummer? He moved a drone and wouldn’t tell him which one.
How is playing the uilleann pipes like throwing a javelin blindfolded? You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.
Why are the pipes the only instrument declared safe by the National Transportation & Safety Board? Because they have seatbelts and an airbag.
What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead banjo player in the road?
The snake was on his way to a gig.
What’s the difference between a banjo player and a man?
You’ve never heard anyone yell “banjo player overboard!”
How can you tell when a banjo player is at your doorstep?
By the pizza in his hand.
I left my banjo on the back seat of my car when I went into the pub. When I came out the back window was smashed out, and there were TWO banjos on the back seat!
What’s perfect pitch on the banjo?
When you toss it in a dumpster, and it lands on a accordion.
