Two pipers play in the desert.
One is in tune, the other is not.
Which one has the big glass of water, with plenty ice-cubes ?
I can guess the answer: The one that’s in tune has the big glass of ice water, because obviously THAT one is just a mirage.
Sarah
And now that you’ve made me think of jokes regarding pipes:
Why are Uilleann pipes the only instrument approved by the National Transportation Safety Board?
Because they come equipped with an air bag and seat belt.
(Edited for the spelling of “Uilleann”.)
[ This Message was edited by: HDSarah on 2003-01-10 20:33 ]
What did the Uilleann Piper get on this SAT?
Answer:
Drool.
HDSarah, no fair!
I mean, pretending you guessed. :roll:
My lesson–you reminded me why Cain killed Abel… 
The nick of Uilleans in French trad groups and sessions :
“The gas factory”!
Now we may be unfair to this very refinery instrument…
And I thought bagpipes (uilleans will do, too) were good for kindling to make banjo fires. 
M
Last month in Wyoming I met a lady who keeps a bit of cat litter in her smallpipes bag to control moisture. Brings a whole new set of uses to mind… 
What do uilleann pipers use for a contraceptive?
Their personalities.
What’s the difference between a dead piper and a dead rat in the middle of the road?
The rat may have been on his way to a gig.
Which combination of words are you most unlikely to ever hear uttered in English?
Is that the piper’s Porsche?
How do you get two pipers in tune?
Shoot one of them.
How many pipers does it take to roof a house?
Depends on how thinly you slice them.
What is the definition of a quarter tone?
Two pipers playing in unison.
How can you tell if a set of pipes is out of tune?
Is the piper playing them?
What’s another name for the uilleann pipes?
A West Clare laptop!
I’ve heard them all.
Keep in mind that bodhran players, clueless guitarists, fiddlers, box players, flautists, banjo players, and smart alecky whistlers can be substituted in most piper jokes 
Pat