http://www.tradcentre.com/dialup/uilleannjokes.html
Very good!
PD.
âŚIâd laugh, but theyâre all true⌠
Well really! I have never been so offended in all my born days. 
some good ones, especially the last.
I think that I have heard them all before, but instead of Uilleann Pipes, it was a Trombone.
Brilliant- I like the air bags best
Theyâre still not as bad as orchestra conductor or choir jokes:
Whatâs the difference between an orchestra conductor and a sack of sh*t?
The sack.
Whatâs the difference between a lead soprano and a pit bull?
The jewelry.
Whatâs the definition of a male quartet?
3 men and a tenor.
How do you tell the difference between an alto and a tenor?
The tenor doesnât have hair on his back.
Whatâs the difference between an orchestra and a bull?
With a bull, the horns are in front and the a$$hole is in the backâŚ
I heard Joe Burke on television talking about a fiddler who had died penniless, without enough money even to bury him. The hat went round to a group or fellow musicians to chip in towards giving him a dignified send-off. One player (a box player) asked how much was expected of him, and was told that a fiver would be about right. His response to this was: âWell hereâs ten - bury two whilst youâre at itâ
Actually, the story was about a box player being buried, and the donator was a fiddler. The story was told in relating how much pipers and fiddlers despised boxes when they were first introduced.
Some of us still despise them today. 
djm
Now, now, If we canât be nice, we had better not be at allâŚ
You poor Pipers :roll: You should hear how the GHBs get beat on it doesnât even compare.
Some of those were pretty good. But, being a GHB player I am used to a lot more of the trash talk jokes than that, and they tend to be more true regarding the GHBâs.
I have played GHBs for over 20 years, and I have heard a few really nasty pipe jokes over that time. Now that I am playing UPs, I expect no, and I mean NO, reason not to hear even nastier UP jokesâŚitâs only fair isnât it?
âŚI donât mind verbal jokes⌠but Joe, remember when some idiot poured sand down Jayâs bass drone???
I remember reading a comic strip where a kid was asking a man in a sherman tank why the tank was hereâŚ
âfor protectionâ
âoh, for which part of the parade?â
âPart of the marching bandâ
âreally? which partâ
âThe bagpipesâ
or another comic which showed an apartment complex. In one window was a sign reading âbagpipes for saleâ in the other windows were other signs âthank god!â âbless allahâ âway to go Joeâ etcâŚ
âŚor..musical failure # 121 â âBoxpipesâ âŚphphphpht!
Rather OT, but bear with me (it includes pipes, anyway):
The other nite during the session at Keeganâs, we had four pipers on hand, and the presence of four sets of drones filling the air was wonderful. Remarkably, it was also a bodhranless session; a rare thing. As I mused about the counters for things (murder of crows, pod of whales, etc.), I wondered what a plurality of pipers might be called. âTionolâ? Not quite. âPlethoraâ was offered. I was hoping for something more colorful, but itâll do for now.
Then someone asked what would you call a plurality of bodhran players, and I said, âA feck.â Got a laugh for that.
Davey wrote: "âŚI donât mind verbal jokes⌠but Joe, remember when some idiot poured sand down Jayâs bass drone??? "
What a messy situation that was!!! Jay had a bunch of stuff coming to him, but sand down the drones was absolutely the wrong way of going about it. The guy who poured the sand was Rusty Alexander, and years after the event he confessed it to me and I smiled and let him know exactly how he wouldâve âlooked likedâ if he had done it to meâŚhe got the message and promised not to do it to me⌠
A âfeckâ of bodhransâŚhmmmm⌠I⌠LIKE it!!!
A pig of pipers?
A cram of chanters?
A dreg of drones?
djm
Iâm laughing because theyâre all true!
Oh⌠I never thought of that. Iâm such a silly buntâŚ
HmmmâŚ
A cranning of pipers?