It was the chicken.
“But only twice on Sunday!”
“I’m not of your religion ladies, but I cannot help but admire your faith.”
They’re dead.
“They’re dead, Jim.”
I told you that was the priest we ran over.
“I hope that other one don’t go out. We’d be up here forever.”
“Nobody knows.”
“He won’t tell me which one.”
A nun goes into a gynecologist’s office with a gerbil and … Oops! Sorry, that’s an “opening” joke line. 
djm
“Timing!”
“What?.. Oh… was I driving?!?”
…charged with transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
When you’re swimming in the sea,
And a fishie bites your knee:
That’s a moray.
–James
But! But! But! It’s pronounced Murray, like Morayshire! Or Moraymints!
Wait a minute! Are you peeing down my leg?
But! But! But! It’s pronounced Murray, like Morayshire! Or Moraymints!
Wait a minute! Are you peeing down my leg?
(I’m surprised at how few of these I recognize. Most of the ones I do recognize are posted by Dale; wonder what that signifies… But I’m glad that Jerry posted the “given up drinking for Lent” one.)
“Aye, lass! And I’ve got two more yards at home!”
I think perhaps there is a regional difference in pronunciation: I’ve never heard this word pronounced in any way except for mor-RAY.
Yer leg is safe. 
By the by, I didn’t come up with this particular pun, blame that on sci-fi author Spider Robinson of Callahan’s fame. 
–James
Well I’ve heard it pronounced MORay as well as Murray, so morAY is number three. Which reminds me of another punchline:
One hundred and nine!
(And “Wait a minute, are you peeing down my leg” is yet another punchline, but you knew that.)
“Don’t you think you’d better see if he’ll let you pet him, first?”
Coffee breaks over, Back on your heads!
“About five minutes ago.” (I know it’s bad form but I can’t help laughing at this punch line. It totally slays me!)