I heard this joke on friday night, though it was pretty funny.
An irish pirate goes into a pub, and he has a steering wheel in his pants. The pirate slams his hand on the counter and goes “Arrr! Arrr! I need a pint! Arrr!”. The bartender looks at him, and asks “How does it feel to have a steering wheel in your pants?”. The pirate goes “Arrr! It drives me nuts!”.
The famed pirate Yellow Beard was a Cork native. After years of successfully roaming the high seas predating on any vessel he came across, Yellow Beard decided it was time to retire and so he returned to Ireland and county Cork to settle down.
As he walked through the streets of his beloved town somebody shouted out at him from across the walkway “Hey, Yellow Beard, where are you’re buccaneers?” To which he replied “They’re on me buckin’ head!”
Interesting that both the aforementioned pirates have to be Irish. Would either joke suffer a loss of funninessitude if they were simply pirates?
Nope, they wouldn’t. Just repeating a joke told to me… interestingly enough, by an Irishman.
Then Yellow Beard went into a café for lunch. “Oi, waiter,” he called, “Where’s me fork an’ knife?” To which the waiter replied “Under yer forkin’ nose!”
He don’t have to Irish or a pirate. Just “a bloke” does nicely.
Bloke goes into a pub with a steering wheel sticking out of the front of his trousers. Barman says “Excuse me, sir, but do you realise that you have a steering wheel sticking out of the front of your trousers?” “Yeah,” the bloke says. “It’s driving me nuts.”
See? It’s the way you tell 'em!
But… then you have to delete the whole “Arrr!” thing, which’d be a bit like posting a photo of Prague police officers with pig-tails. 
Well, isnt using “me” instead of “my” an irish thing? So when you say “it’s driving me nuts”, doesnt it make more sens coming from an irish person?
Nah, we all talk like that here. Take me word for it.
Quite so, me old sparrer.
What, yer mean, like, all dour and grim and humourless, that kind of Prague police photo? Careful, Gary, dredging things like that up again. It isn’t “Depress a Yank” week, you know.
Actually that’s something I attribute to Hollywood pirate speach. We expect
a pirate to say things like “avast, me hearties”, and “shiver me timbers”
regardless of his nationality. I’ve heard both jokes before (many times), and
the pirates have never been Irish, just pirates. Still made sense.
What would a pirate be doing with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants anyway? It would be his “first mate,” more likely. 
Um … just happy to see you, perhaps?
djm
Actually, that spot was reserved for the cabin boy.
Tommy Loy?
Thole pins. Ouch.
Is that where all the big asstholes started out?
Let’s see…
A Chassidic Rabbi goes into a pub with a steering wheel sticking out of the front of his trousers. Barman says “Excuse me, sir, but do you realise that you have a steering wheel sticking out of the front of your trousers?” “Yeah,” the Rabbi says. “It’s driving me nuts.”
Nope, gotta be Irish
