Southern Residents Asses Tornado Damage
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8UKUT8O0&show_article=1&catnum=1
Doggone them thar spaelin ruels! 
Sadly, though, the price of yesterday’s storms was quite high.
My sympathies and condolences to those who lost loved ones or their homes or property.
–James
Dear Editors,
You are missed.
Sincerely,
Fearfaoin
sorely missed
What’s funny is that it’s online. I expect it in newspapers, which are getting really bad these days. Our local rag outsourced all the ad work to India, and the remaining graphics in their layouts are obviously done by a skeleton crew. There are boners everyday, it seems.
I was perusing the phone book yesterday looking for a number (the white pages) and I saw the listing for the “Darien/Sharon Untied Methodist Church”.
Still makes me laugh.
Southern Residents Asses Tornado Damage
Trying to make grammatical sense out of this:
Southern resident(s) asses tornado damage.
i.e., he moons his ruined house. Dang s messes it all up.
Southern residents’ asses tornado damage.
Still not exactly a sentence, but suggests several people sitting too
near a window? Needs an apostrophe.
Do you read the newspaper looking for boners?
…in a thread about residents asses tornados, no less…what’s the world coming to… 
No but there are a lot of good personals sites where they’re in abundance.
I don’t read expressly for the sake of finding them. It’s just that you can’t help but notice when they’re sticking out at you. Ahem.
I would make a great editor. No one believes me.
The next time I read a newspaper, I am going to look for boners.
You should send me some of your papers where you see them.
I’m really not trying to make light of a tragic situation, but I’ll play along. My guess is that maybe they were refering somehow to what part of the anatomy the Southern Residents were kissing goddbye. Or then, maybe they were simply assessing the damage. Something like that I’m sure.