Okay - pop quiz: Anybody think they can guess what brand whistle this famous actress is holding?
The winner gets, um… any thoughts?
Obvious That’s an unfiltered Generation. 
Did you see this?!? Oh yeah, like Aaaahnie plays the low whistle! How come we never saw him with one before his bid for Governor? Oh, so, like, all of a sudden, he expects the whole whistle community to just open their arms and welcome him in? Shameless. Just shameless.
Unlike Chuck, of course. I mean, Chuck, as we all know, has won “Chiff and Fipple’s Hairiest Whistle Player” award every year since 1998, the year he finally stole the title from long-time record holder Robin Williams. What a guy.
I’m embarassed to be asking after all this time, but how to I get a subscription to Whistle Aficianado. Looks like my kind of magazine!
(Nice work, Adam!)
Well, you can pick them up at any magazine shop, but unfortunately not everybody can see them. They are only visible to the “mentally depleted.” let me explain: It turns out that the moisture that accumulates in a whistle windway is actually not spittle or condensation - it’s brain fluid! So those posters who grossed everybody out by suggesting you should suck it back in were right, after all. And it’s no wonder they are so smart. Impressive looking scientists predict that every 100 times we clear the windway, we lose a single IQ point. That means while the “suckers” are retaining their precious smarts, the rest of us are either splattering it onto our shoes (or fellow bandmates) or flinging it agaisnt the wall (or fellow bandmates).
So my suggestion, if one would like to pick up this fine journal and enjoy its insightful articles and quality photographs, one should stop hanging out, posting on on Chiff and Fipple until 3 am and start practicing that whistle! And don’t forget to clear that windway!!
Adam (and thanks for the compliment, Jim! )