A Humble Proposal
… Those in society who have achieved success have worked hard and struggled, studied and sacrificed to better themselves. Those who are poor and do not hold the honorable position of property owner drain the resources of the diligent. The shameful, slothful and disgraceful burden which they force upon society is a continuous assault on the innocent, law-abiding people of our great nation and their rightfully earned prosperity.
Praise God, at least the refusal of the miserable lower-class to purchase health insurance is resulting in their mass deaths from undiagnosed cancer and other disease, and this lowers somewhat their destructive effect on our nation’s treasure. The reprehensible, irresponsible hordes of the wretched can however, I propose, serve a modicum of use to the righteous with no additional cost to mankind.
We, the innocent wealthy, having created jobs, blessed the masses with our wealth, charity and genius, and having allowed the teaming mobs of the ungrateful to consume from the well of our generous bounty and use the beautiful resources of our nation, are sometimes afflicted, injured or harmed, often by the careless and disease-bearing hordes of the unskilled. As a result of lost limbs or damaged internal organs, a highly educated, wealth-generating, job-creating, decent and God-fearing man is made to suffer, as the entire society will suffer because of the denial of the full potential of a great American.
I humbly propose “The American Harvest”, a joyful fulfillment of our destiny through resource-maximization. Survival of the fittest is not enough. We should strive for maximization of the fittest. As part of this initiative, those who have chosen to not use their own potential will be blessed and honored through the harvesting of their limbs for use by the just and entrepreneurially superior.
Certainly, those who have been convicted and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole are in possession of useful limbs and organs which will not only go to complete waste and ruin, but, because those limbs must be nourished by our charitable dollars while attached to the convict, actually increase the burden which the poor represent. Those same limbs are potential weapons and are therefore a risk of prison violence, potentially even against our precious law enforcement heroes.
America needs to wake up in this time of war and to face the fact that we must do our duty to God and Country and take those measures necessary to ensure our safety at home and abroad. The American Harvest will bring new jobs, new prosperity and improved national security through the enrichment of our greatest national resource, the American rich person.
Not only those in prison should be required to contribute to our nation. All those who are not of decent economic standing in society should forgo the useless possession of anatomical resources, and their children, who will not have the opportunity for higher education because of the monetary irresponsibility of those who have produced them, and as a result represent an inevitable future cost center, could now have their only chance to do anything honorable.
We must begin immediately, quickly harvesting the arms and legs, bone marrow, eyes and lungs of the teaming miserable and shameful destitute, thereby building a better, more prosperous and secure America.
God bless George Bush, Dick Cheney, the G.O.P., and America.