Ok folks, I watched and was sickened by the presidential debate and made up my mind about my very own plans to vote on election day.
I need your support.
Please write in my name, Lewis S. Blevins, Jr., as a candidate and vote for me for President of the United States. That is precisely what I will attempt to do.
I see no other appropriate solution.
I have selected my dear friend Gabriel McKeagney as my VP running mate.
I will appoint David M. Quinn as the official Pipemaker for the State. Benedict Koehler will be be appointed as the Secretary of the Department of Reedmaking. Ted Anderson will be appointed as the Secretary of the Department of Arundo Donax Acquisition. These gentlemen will be paid a sum of one million dollars annually.
There will be an ever present ongoing tionol in the White House and all pipers 'round the world will be welcomed any and all hours of every day. There’ll be free Koehler reeds for all pipers.
The Mall grounds in DC will be selected as the site for the largest ever Guinness Brewery and there will be free Guinness for all visiting pipers.
My health care plan is that I will personally palpate everybodys glands to ensure that they are healthy. Ladies first!
With all the piping to be done and the plans for the palpation of glands, I won’t have time to think about defense.
Glands You crazy fool.Don’t you realise that the American people will want to emulate there president: should you get elected which given the other candidates isn’t that too outlandish a thought
America would become a nation of obsessive pipers. Pipe makers waiting lists would go through the roof man! Geof Woof would have a waiting list of 700 years or something.
China would shit itself and nuke you all. Millions of pipers all at once they would think America has developed and perfected sonic warfare
…I’ll vote for free anything, but especially reeds and Guinness. Mr. President…I mean Blevins, you’ll have my vote this November!! We will, of course, have to change the presidential theme from ‘Hail To The Chief’ to…hmmmm…I’ve always been fond of the Dublin tune: Take Him Up To Monto.
Ummmm, excuuuuuuse me, but now yer gettin’ into my territory pal. I’ll take care of the ladies’ glands, you take care of everyone else. I swear, we OB/Gyns get no respect (R.D RIP), mention palpating women’s glands and all of sudden everyone’s a gynecologist.
It’s clear now what I must do…Anima is to be the Surgeon General. J’ever wonder why they used to call us “endocriminologists?” Some of us on this list are a bunch of pervs!
The D chanter defense is a nice idea! Of course, bodhran players would be on the front lines.
Well, I suppose David Quinn would have to double as the ambassador to China.
Free Guinness, of course, but you’d have to drink responsibly and accept the consequences of your actions.
I was unaware that the BS we have to wade through over here was such a big deal across the pond(s). I’m sorry. This time of year (every four years), it is all I can do to retain my sanity while the media…all media…goes nuts with the presidential election. Don’t even get me started on the ‘Slam Campaign’ adds.
Rick, please do not take to heart that the American People are truly represented by what one sees on TV or hears on the radio or reads in the papers. If you are ever here, like anywhere else in the world, and you get to know the peole better, the more you will see that we have more in common than not.
We teach our school children that our system is the best in the world, and since the media perpetuates that idea (and most Americans never travel out of the country to see for themselves–and for that I’m sure many of you are thankful!), it breeds the self-importance you describe.
I always wondered, if our system was THAT much better why didn’t other countries copy our constitution? :roll:
This election is shaping up to be even closer than the last one. It’ll be interesting to see what games they play this time (more than just hurricanes have ravaged Florida!).
Florida is not the only place with voting issues. Alabama had a county with more votes than actual people living there…fortunately, someone went to jail for that one.
Yes it’s truly unfortunate that our country is run by a bunch of rich morons who are only capable of lying, pointing fingers, and calling names (the definition of a typical high-ranking politician). It’s also truly unfortunate that the rest of you fellas accross the pond view us yanks in such a bad light because of the rich, media hording morons that control everything that you see and hear. Here in Santa Cruz-Surfertown USA-(quite possibly the most liberal town in the US,…definitely an interesting little place indeed), it’s pretty difficult to go anywhere without seeing or hearing someone or something bashing the president, the government, capitalism, etc. I don’t remember where I was going with that, but I feel for the rest of the world and how they have to put up with our government’s bull. But that’s why we all play the pipes, to get driven nuts by something else!
…I am certain that all of the recently above will change under the Blevin’s Administration. C’mon you other US pipers (…and what the heck, non US pipers as well), let’s get out there and make a difference!
…take him up to Monto, Monto, Monto, take him up to Monto Langeroo…to you.
like santa cruz, gainesville FLORIDA is fairly liberal. this is the only place in the state of florida i am told that actually had an overwhelming win for gore in 2000… and NO did not live here then…
course, i am also told the majority of the state carried gore into office too…
hmm
Lewis… can I have a cabinet position? Dispenser of pints?
