Got a jury summons today for Jan 5th. I’ll take a few books and read for three of four days until they dismiss me. I’m unlikely to get on a jury, although I’ve served on two before. (A DUI appeal and a whiplash lawsuit.) I’ll never serve on a capital case and probably never a civil case. We’ll see what happens this time.
I think I’ll work on my adaptation of “12 Angry Men.” I’m calling it “1 Angry Guy.” It stars me in a one-man play. I just rant and rave on stage for 2 hours about getting a jury summons.
Just finished a run in federal court in August, had to leave my swiss army knife home, very inconvenient. Chair had a loose screw, drove me crazy, couldn’t fix it 'cause I had to leave my swiss army knife at home, couldn’t pay attention to the case. Luckily they’re all guilty anyway. It doesn’t pay as well as expert witness pay either, per diems! . Didn’t particulary care for the judge but he wasn’t on trial.
Doesn’t it say everyone is entitled to a jury of their peers? My feeling is, if you’ve never been arrested for anything, then you are not the peer of anyone who has - you are better than them!
I’ve had to do jury duty twice but never got picked.
I work at a coffee shop. Earlier this week, a guy came in wearing these outrageously short running shorts (it was both cold and dark outside, but people wear stranger things), ordered a drink and sat down. A few hours later, a regular customer tipped us off (we couldn’t see him very well from behind the counter) that the man was “exposing himself” and “touching himself inappropriately.” I investigated, discreetly, and this turned out to be horrifyingly true. I called the police for the first time ever. He was arrested and stuff.
I’ll be honest: it was not the best evening I’ve ever spent.
I am happy to say that the only time I was called for jury duty I did not have to go. I was still a rural mail carrier substitute back then and they called me and the regular carrier I subbed for at the same time. The post master explained to the judge that he could have one of us but not both. The mail must go through. So I hauled mail for two weeks while the regular was sitting in court.
I’m not entirely sure why I told that story here.
I’m guessing because you’ll end up testifying in court on this one.
Once a year I get a notice telling me I’m some kind of alternate juror and that I have to call a special phone # on a Sunday night to see if I actually have jury duty the next day.
They’ve never needed me then, but a couple months later I get a regular jury duty summons.
I go in.
The lawyers never want me.
This year it was for criminal case where a guy (with his brother and a woman) was accused of torturing and killing a man for drugs, money, and guns.
Everyone sitting around me was excused because they’d either had someone in their immediate family who’d been killed in a violent crime or they were currently in a drug treatment program.
They don’t show the jury selection part on “Boston Legal” do they.
Picture gray haired scrawny little white lady me sitting there asking the judge dear to repeat his questions.
The lawyers never want me.
You mean that wasn’t a helpful suggestion to Dale about ways to not only remain safely unselected, but to get himself stricken from the frequent suckers list?
I got called once, in college. I think it was for an assault case. During the selection they asked me if I would agree to go along with the judge’s interpretation of the law if I felt that his interpretation was wrong. I said no. I was among those excused.
Oh, I really don’t need any help with that. If all else fails, when they ask questions of prospective jurors you just have to say a sentence or two that includes any two or three of these words/phrases.
radiation
brain waves
implanted or implant
Neptune
hidden camera
genitals
rabies
Nixon
secret coded messages
chiff
my powers
snap
special agent
archangel
fipple
Write those words on a little slip of paper and keep them in the palm of your hand and you’ll never go wrong. If they catch you with the little cheat sheet, just hand them the cheat sheet and tell them that it’s just a reminder to yourself of the stuff you want to talk about once you get in the jury room.
That’s a lot of work when just saying “I’m sure they’re guilty, but I’ll wait for the trial to convict” will suffice. Or “Yeah, I know them but I can be impartial about family.”
I’m lucky enough to work for a company that will still pay my salary for up to 30 days of jury duty per year, so I rather enjoy the opportunity when it arises. I’ve been summoned for jury duty three times, and served on juries for two of them.
The first summons I ever got (superior court), I ended up on the jury for a 2nd degree murder trial. That was a very educational experience, I must say: strangulation, body decomposition, the works.
The third summons (municipal court), I got on the jury for a case of indecent exposure by a homeless man. A sad situation all around.
I’m on jury duty this month, too. The way it works around here is that you get a notice in the mail saying you have jury duty for the month of ______ . You have the opportunity to send in the form and request a deferral to a different month, within the next 10 months. (But then you really have to do it in your deferred month – no deferring forever.) During your designated month, you have to call in every evening and listen to a recording that tells what jurors and groups are needed the next day. I’m in group 12 so I’m hoping that I’ll make it past the first two weeks of December, which is the last two weeks of our semester and it’s a pain for 80 people if I miss class. (I teach at the university.) So far, so good: they took group 1 on Dec.1, no one on Dec. 2, groups 2 & 3 on Dec. 3, and no new groups today. The third week of December is finals, and it isn’t hard to get someone else to proctor my finals so that wouldn’t be a problem.
I get a summons every few years. Normally I only have to report in once or twice during the month, and I don’t get placed on a jury. In the last 25 years I’ve only been seated on one jury, for a DUI case. That jury selection was a little scary: they asked if anyone had ever been arrested for DUI and half the room cleared out. I HOPE many were lying to get out of jury duty – I hate to think that was a representative cross section of my community’s drivers! They they rejected all the heavy drinkers, no-longer-drinking alcoholics, and non-alcoholic teetotalers. Those of us who would confess to being moderate social drinkers without any history of alcohol-related problems were rare.
So, all of you, keep your fingers crossed that I don’t get called in until at least Dec.15 this time. (Sorry, you won’t be able to make the finger reach to play whistles with crossed fingers, but it’s a small price to pay for my convenience, don’t you think? )
I was called up about a month ago. It was my old address and the courthouse was a four hour drive from where I now live. I was taken off that duty when this was mentioned.
. Didn’t particulary care for the judge but he wasn’t on trial. 
I’m guessing because you’ll end up testifying in court on this one. 
)