It almost makes me want to start an account with them…after all, they are the cat’s pajamas!
Excellent, emm!! I’m dying to know what they’ll say about the jetski…maybe Brien can meet him halfway?
My only niggling doubt is the bit about “waterproof fish-skin portfolios”.
They might have sussed you out with that one, Em. Everyone knows
the impermeability of seal bladders, even though some fish skins can
make a business fashion statement to die for.
Wow, you are a good writer.
Incidentally, the anti-harassment group WHOA was co-founded by someone dealing with a fake literary agency. For the sordid and educational story, read
http://www.jahitchcock.com/cyberstalked/
Caj
… typical me, always late for a “business dinner”.
I fear that the pudding has been over-egged.
There is tremendous wit and charm in Emm’s reply but surely no body is so stupid, or greedy, not to sense something amiss here.
Emm deserves a better outlet for her considerable talents than fooling around with Gobshites who are trying to cover their own butts and finding a way out of the disaster that they have created.
I only hope and pray that the other targets of the scam have Emms prescence of mind.
Fame, and it’s various relations, can have a strange effect on those who want it for it’s own sake.
Never fancied it myself but then again, I’ve never had Emms gift for writing.
If I had I’d be writing something..
Slan,
D. 
Gob..shi.te’s is one of those words that fall into the net of the autocensor
And all this time I’ve been slogging away, getting short stories published in zines and journals, thinking I’ve been going about it the right way.
I dunno, Dubh. Don’t see anything wrong with Em having a bit of fun.
But this:
Absolutely. Wonder if there’s a good way to make it widely known and with luck forestall any scams on the credulous.
The fun is seriously funny. Kudos to Emm.
It reminded me of one of the late Peter Cook’s (sp?) great cartoons from his Private Eye days.
Two guys are stood at a bar and one sez to the other,
“I’m writing a novel”
the other guy sez…
“Neither am I”
I often set out to write the Great Irish Novel, usually once a day… early in the morning..before the coffee and the Chiff kick in.
Thank God I am spared Spammers…that would set my progress back weeks
Slan,
D. 
Well, over-egged pudding or not, Dawn says this:
Emily,
I am anxious to speak with you. Do you have time today to discuss your
promotional options?
I look forward to hearing from you,
Dawn Rodgers
VP Marketing
dawn@airleaf.com
317-821-9238 (direct)
800-342-6068 ext 113
Find one of those scam 1-900 numbers that charges $100/minute and tell her it’s your number. 
Dawn’s anxious, Em. Looks like you’re the only game in town.
But, they have a website (http://www.airleaf.com/), so they must be legit! Right?
Of course they’re legit silly Slude!
And so is the reply I just sent:
Of course, and I am most anxious to speak with you as well!
But here’s the problem with having so much of one’s life tied up with businesses in the Fondolopia Archipelago (drat that my father was Wallace Binny Foster-Grant of the Fondolopian Binny-Grants!)–
Apparently, due to heightened security in the mobile phone sector, I need to pay an “entrance” fee in order to place a call using my cellular service, the entirety of which they promise to refund once my documents are approved.
Well, as we’ve discussed, since my assets are completely tied up in Uncle Bellwether’s ignominious trust fund, I just don’t have the
650 guilder entrance fee at hand right now! (I know that sounds steep, but it’s just $500 American.)
If you and Brien could see your way clear to wiring me the $500 so I could access my cell service, we can discuss my getting online with Airleaf! (And it will be a simple matter for you to deduct the $500 from the $12,000 you’ll be handing the Jetski driver!)
Let me know!
Thanks!
I never get any Trix.
That’s because Trix are for kids 
Tsk tsk… Turning Trix at such a young age. Izzy, what are you teaching your children? 
Creepy! The Dawn woman just called me! Which means she must’ve used the online lookitup directory or something, because she didn’t get my number from me or Xlibris! (the printer-on-demand of the book in question.)
And then, after, all that weird stuff I said to her in emails she asked me in a normal voice whether I was interested in the service.
I was so flabbergasted I completely forgot to say “Dawn! You’re the smartest person I know! How DID you manage to call me when I don’t even have a phone?”
Instead I said something like, “Heh, heh…wow. No, I’m sorry, but actually I’m really NOT interested.”
And she said “thank you, goodbye.”
Most creepy indeed.
Must be desperate to make a steal… I mean sale.
Oh wow, emm, that really is alarming. I can’t believe that she took the time to actually look up your number! 