An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are sitting at a bar, each with
a beer in front of them. All of a sudden, three flies zoom in and land right
in each of the beers. The Englishman pushes his away in disgust, gets up,
and leaves. The Scotsman simply pulls the fly out, tosses it on the ground,
and continues drinking. The Irishman however, pulls his fly out and begins
beating it against the bar while shouting, “Give it back, give it back!!”
Amar dude…
Ye got that one arseways!
It was the Scotsman that demanded the return of that which he paid for, tight fisted git.
Go figure it out 
Slan,
D.
Don’t rile Amar, mate! After all this time haven’t ye worked out that he’s a dyed-in-the-wool Scot-o-phile?? 
Steve
Heard that one from a fellow from some gawdawful place called “jonagrrrrroots” or something like that. Yea, it was the Scot. 
I heard it was the Scot, too…yelling
“Spit it oot ya wee bastard, spit it oot!”
The Englishman didn’t leave because of the fly. The beer was cold.
What country was this in?
I was going to be foolish enough to make a Mr. T joke but I didn’t want to be pitied.
Is cross-threading in any way related to cross-dressing? 
Ahhhm it musta been one of those countries where “warm beer” is only discussed via the big-white-telephone-to-god.
An American would have said “meh, what’s a little protein?” (or at least the ones I know.)
An Australian wouldn’t have had a problem - by the time the fly got there his glass was empty.
So, do you think the Englishman is coming back? ‘Cuz if nobody else is going to drink the beer…
Could you tell me the rest of the joke again, Amar?
I just went out to feed the parking meter, and when I get back some bugger’s gone and drunk my beer. Just when it was getting up to room temperature too.
Ah glad you’re back - It’s your shout
I knew I had heard the Irish Rovers tell the joke in concert several thousand times, and tonight when I decided to watch their video “THe Irish Rovers Celebrate The First 30 years” (which is over 10 years old now), there’s the late Jimmy Ferguson telling that joke, complete with sound effects.
Is that a long enough sentence or what?
Of the Irish beer jokes I have heard I like this one:
There was a big international beer conference and at the end of the day all of the representatives of the
major beer companies decide to have a drink in the hotel bar.
The representative of ‘Budweiser’ orders a Bud, the representative of ‘Carlsberg’ orders a Carlsberg,
the representative of ‘Heineken’ orders a Heineken and so on …
When the barman asks the guy from Guiness what he wants, he has a quick look around before he replies
“I’ll have a Coke”!
“Why don’t you order a Guiness?” his colleagues reply.
“Naah. If you lads won’t drink beer, then neither will I.”
/MarcusR
Someone emailed this with title " Panic in Ireland over Flooding".
Someone else sent this joke in response to a thread on identity and recognition:
Two guys are engaged in spirited conversation in a Dublin pub.
“Where are you from”?, says one.
“I’m from Cork”, says the other.
" No kidding, I’m from Cork, too. Where did you live?" says one.
“I lived on Cavan Street”, says the other.
“Hey, I lived on Cavan Street - where did you go to school?”, says one.
“I’ll be darned- I went to St Agnes School”, says the other.
“GET OUT OF HERE! - I went to St Agnes, TOO!” says the one.
Just then a fellow walks in the pub and hails the bartender, “Hey Paddy, what’s new?”
Paddy shrugs and nodding to the two at the end of the bar replies, “Nothin’ new - the O’Brien twins are drunk again!”
The old ones are the best…
Slan,
D.