This is a very inspiring story. I read it frequently.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/sexy_career_woman_to_take_hot_bath?utm_source=a-section
I love THE ONION. They are bad people.
When I read the thread title I thought it was going to be an article about senators and governors.
No, that’s this one. A tidbit: “The sunbeam marked the fourth event to suspend congressional activity this week. According to sources, other disruptions included a thunderclap on Monday that instantly adjourned proceedings; Wednesday’s chaotic introduction of a laser pointer; and the discovery of a large cardboard box in the Capitol Rotunda Thursday that prompted minority whip Sen. Tiddles (R-TN) to call a recess so that he could sit inside of it.”
Hey, I’m living it. I’m just waiting for her to get out of the tub. Carried that two hundred and fifty pound cast iron Kohler sucker up the stairs all by my lonesome, worth every ruptured disc in my back. 
I’m living it too. But the 6 inch black stiletto pumps have started to give me bunions. 
I’ve never read anything at the Onion that was funny. It’s always seemed totally laboured and entirely obvious to me.
There’s always one.
But that’s the joke you see, Simon. They are burlesquing journalism.