Covered with The Onion’s usual journalistic excellence:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/idiom_shortage_leaves_nation_all
Jumping butler wagons! Now I know how non-native speakers feel when faced with American idioms.
That article’s about as readable as a pig in omelet raisins!
Another clear example of Americans not missing their daughter until the cows come home.
Well, dip my lip. This is worse than swans in a brass purse. What shall we do?
residents of Texas may soon cease speaking altogether
not without an upside 
It’s like building doghouses out of bananas and feeding ice cream to the pigs.
Woot! 
Snicker
As I trudge down the pudding skin of life it is a jellied doorjamb to read such skillet blisters as this.
Thanks, Carol, you mottled spindrift you!
It’s a storm in a tea-caddy. Just hold your fire-water and it’ll be right as radio before you can say Jack Russell.
Is this diatribe based on some current American political scenario, or just general sheep-dip from the Onion?
djm
It’s like… I think that… What I want to … Oh f**k it
Most … Poststructural … thread … EVAR!
Indubitably. Delicious.
Well I’m blowed sky-western crooked!
The question that lights the henhouse for me, and leaves my mind just as befuddled as a hobbit in a shoe store:
If all the idioms went all away,
What the hell’s the preacher gonna have left to say?
–James
My hovercraft is full of eels. Blinkie, Blinkie?
These great replies really tickle my leftover kreplach!
I’m as confused as a …
Oh I’m no good at this.
Oh, c’mon, it’s no big deal. Idioms are as useless as tits on a boar hog.
Yes, serious. As our President would say, this is a national emergency. Or, put another way, this emergency is national.