When eating a jam doughnut, always make sure the hole is pointing towards you.
Never ask a woman how many months she is gone in her pregnancy, unless she is actually in labour.
Or pointing at the guy sitting next to you that you donāt like! 
I made that mistake a few months ago. Congratulated a woman I hadnāt seen for several months on the obvious new family member on the way. OOOPS!!! Turns out she had a new boyfriend and heād been taking her to lots of fine restaurant. Itās a good thing she had a sense of humor as she was about to cut my hair.
You donāt tug on Supermanās cape
You donāt spit into the wind
You donāt pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you donāt mess around with Jim (or Slim)
ROTFLOL
We have had several women in my office in various stages of pregnancy in the last few months, but woe betide the man who notices before theyāre ready to tell - or who mistakes a big belly for a baby on the way.
Thereās a few guys here about 20 months pregnant too.
At least you can tell theyāre on the level. Theyāve got the bubble in the middle.
Iāll let you know when I wake up.
actually - we call that carrying the full keg around, instead of just a 6 pack!
I look a bit like that myself these days. Must diet. I look like Iām ready to breast-feed too. 
Steve
Iām not trying to pick on you, Steve, but your comment triggered a questionā¦
Why is it that, in many cultures, itās okay for men (even overweight, large-breasted men) to walk around in public with no shirt, but women are supposed to be ācoveredā? Whatās the historical basis for this discrepancy?
Did you ever see that episode of Seinfeld where the lady walked around in nothing but a bra?
Thatās why.
Actually, no, I never watched Seinfeld.
Donāt sweat the petty things, and donāt pet the sweaty things.
Oh Gawd! That may have to become my signature.
Steve
Give champagne to your real friends, and real pain to your sham friends.
That is a very interesting question to which I donāt have an answer. Oddly, my wife and I went for a country ramble around Tintagel in Cornwall last week. It was a hot day and I took my shirt off, but I put it back on briefly just for the section of the walk that took us through Tintagel village itself (which was heaving with tourists). I canāt explain why I did that.
We chaps can only regret the discrepancy to which you refer.
Steve
Steve,
You lucky bast**d. I visited Cornwall for a month, a year ago. The one place I felt instantly at home, and you get to live there. Spent most of the time playing Breton tunes with a guy on the South coast, but thought Tintagel was. . .interesting. I loved Boscastle though. Have they recovered from their flood yet?
By the by, help your self to my wisdom for your signature. I donāt think itās mine anyway. Too clever for me.
Mark
Hi Mark
Iām on the north coast meself (Bude). Itās exactly a year on from the Boscastle disaster and the village has recovered very well, though the Harbour Lights shop was completely destroyed and will take a while to replace (though itāll never be the same). As far as I know the Youth Hostel isnāt up and running as yet, but just about all other businesses are open. Apparently there are lots of day visitors but the overnight stays are still badly-affected - temporarily we all hope. That was some rainstorm, I can tell you! Tintagel is a bit of a tourist honeypot what with its (spurious) King Arthur associations, but the area has a nice feel to it even in the peak season. Boscastle and Tintagel are about a 20-minute drive from my house.
Steve
I went for a walk on Rough Tor and Brown Willy last week but didnāt have time to call into Boscastle.
As I wasnāt hungry so I didnāt pop into Tintagel for an āExcaliburgerā.
We take our family holiday in Sennen Cove (near Lands End).
In my experience Lands End itself is best avoided.