Punctuation Period

[talasiga]

@Innocent Bystander

Yes, Mrs used to be Mistress - I remember it well. People have become so slovenly in their speech, it is a sheer disgrace.
…

Dat’s nuttin.
In French, Mme is the abrreviation for Madame!

[djm]

@Tal

Such a topic would need the blessings of St. Jude.

Perhaps you meant St-Jude?

djm

[gonzo914]

Perhaps a compromise is in order.

If the Brits will

• 1. stop using “cheque” instead of “check” ;

2. stop putting that useless ‘u’ in words like ‘colour’ and ‘humour’ where it has no place;
3. quit spelling ‘advertizing’ as ‘advertising’ and ‘criticizing’ as ‘criticising’ and all the other '-izing’s;
4. write numeric dates in the correct order (month/day/year, not day/month/year);
5. spell ‘gray’ with an ‘a’ like it sounds;
6. quit calling cookies ‘biscuits,’ and
7. try to build a car that doesn’t rust out in 18 months;

then Americans will

• 1. quit using a period in Mr and Mrs;

2. not giggle when you offer to ‘knock us up’ in the morning or to lend us a ‘rubber’;
3. stop exporting Britney Spears CDs to you;
4. promise to buy one box of Christmas crackers per family per year until all Americans know what they are;
5. spell ‘theatre’ with an ‘-re,’ which won’ be all that hard to do because most of our pretentious pricks are spelling it that way anyway;
6. give you back New Jersey; and
7. quit constantly reminding you that we bailed you out the last two times Germany was whippin’ your ass.

Similar offers will be extended to other members of the Commonwealth as appropriate and as time permits.

[The_Weekenders]

I thought the us of “Ms.” was a good idea but it seems like a stagnant if not dying form of address.

[Innocent_Bystander]

@gonzo914

Perhaps a compromise is in order.

If the Brits will

• 1. stop using “cheque” instead of “check” ;

2. stop putting that useless ‘u’ in words like ‘colour’ and ‘humour’ where it has no place;
3. quit spelling ‘advertizing’ as ‘advertising’ and ‘criticizing’ as ‘criticising’ and all the other '-izing’s;
4. write numeric dates in the correct order (month/day/year, not day/month/year);
5. spell ‘gray’ with an ‘a’ like it sounds;
6. quit calling cookies ‘biscuits,’ and
7. try to build a car that doesn’t rust out in 18 months;

then Americans will

• 1. quit using a period in Mr and Mrs;

2. not giggle when you offer to ‘knock us up’ in the morning or to lend us a ‘rubber’;
3. stop exporting Britney Spears CDs to you;
4. promise to buy one box of Christmas crackers per family per year until all Americans know what they are;
5. spell ‘theatre’ with an ‘-re,’ which won’ be all that hard to do because most of our pretentious pricks are spelling it that way anyway;
6. give you back New Jersey; and
7. quit constantly reminding you that we bailed you out the last two times Germany was whippin’ your ass.

Similar offers will be extended to other members of the Commonwealth as appropriate and as time permits.

On our part

1. Only if you call the game Draughts, properly, instead of insisting it’s called checkers. We’ll even let you spell it “Drafts”. Or you could start spelling it “Chequers”.
2. We can’t get rid of the “u”. The French will get take umbrage.
3. That’s happening anyway. Us Brits on Chiff&Fipple are antiquated dinosaurs, for the most part. Especially me. You’ll just have to put up with us. (please?)
4. NEVER! How logical is it to put the month first? It’s deranged! We’ll fight this one to the death! It’s bad enough that no-one writes the month in Roman Numerals anymore, e.g. 29/XII/2006.
5. I’ll concede this one. Again, it’s happening anyway. Can you say “cultural imperialism”? I knew you could!
6. Shan’t. And you can’t make me. A “Bis-cuit” is something twice cooked, and therefore crisp. Not a Scone. “Cookies” forsooth!
7. Sadly, no power on earth will work this one.

And as for YOUR side:

1. We NEVER use periods. We use full stops!
2. I thought we were the ones doing the giggling…
3. We’ve got Billie Piper anyway.
4. Not enough. You have to start going to Pantomimes as well.
5. Perhaps we could compromise and both call them “Halls of Drama”.
6. You can keep it.
7. And we’ll stop reminding you that you always turn up late!

[BrassBlower]

Maybe someday I can use my cell phone to call you on your mobile (i.e. Moh-BILE), and it won’t cost a single penny for either (is that E-ther or I-ther?) of us.

[Nanohedron]

Incidentally, what the hell is a crumpet, anyway?

[BigDavy]

@Nanohedron

Incidentally, what the hell is a crumpet, anyway?

Hi Nanohedron

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crumpet

David

[Nanohedron]

Thank you, Dave!

I could have Googled it myself, couldn’t I have. It’s so much more genial this way, though. Great bunch o’ little crumpets, you Chiffers.

[BigDavy]

@Nanohedron

Thank you, Dave!

I could have Googled it myself, couldn’t I have. It’s so much more genial this way, though. Great bunch o’ little crumpets, you Chiffers.

Hi Nanohedron

Try a scottish crumpet straight from the pan and dribbled with an aromatic honey. Smells and tastes great

[Nanohedron]

Yes, I have to say that the Scottish crumpet looked very appealing, indeed.

(Edited for spelling. As usual. And punctuation. As usual)

[izzarina]

@Innocent Bystander

1. Only if you call the game Draughts, properly, instead of insisting it’s called checkers. We’ll even let you spell it “Drafts”. Or you could start spelling it “Chequers”.

[jkwest]

oH WOW!!

Thank you for letting me find this thread!

How have I never laid my eyes upon Billie Piper?!

Straight trade across for Slutty Spears plz..

[izzarina]

@talasiga

the overriding opinion of professorial usage experts is that the period is optional and that the absence of it is preferred where an abbreviation includes the last letter of the word being abbreviated.

Alas! It looks like I shall always be behind the times Why on earth do we do it wrong in the US anyway? Wait…nevermind. I don’t want to know the answer

@Innocent Bystander

I say, bring back the title “Goodwife”!

I think that Mr. Izz might take issue with that one

[izzarina]

@Bloomfield

Fowler distinguished between abbreviations formed by truncating a word after the first few letters, and those formed by dropping letters from the middle of the word. He recommended placing a period after the former kind, but none after latter. Mr for Mister is the latter kind, and no period should be used. Write Capt. for captain, but Cpl for corporal, doz. for dozen, but cwt for hundredweight (remember those?). Fowler seems to have been widely followed in Brit. usage but less so in Am. English.

Thanks for this, Bloo. The first time I read it, I didn’t read through it properly (hence my post right after). It makes more sense now.

[BigDavy]

@Nanohedron

Yes, I have to say that the Scottish crumpet looked very appealing, indeed.

(Edited for spelling. As usual. And punctuation. As usual)

And the baking products are not bad either

David

[djm]

A nice bit of strump… er … crumpet, aye, that’s the ticket.!

I noticed your change of tag-line, BigDavy. Free from what, if I may make so bold?

djm

[Nanohedron]

@BigDavy

@Nanohedron

Yes, I have to say that the Scottish crumpet looked very appealing, indeed.

(Edited for spelling. As usual. And punctuation. As usual)

And the baking products are not bad either

David

Ooh. You naughty, naughty boy.

[BigDavy]

@djm

A nice bit of strump… er … crumpet, aye, that’s the ticket.!

I noticed your change of tag-line, BigDavy. Free from what, if I may make so bold?

djm

Hi djm

Free from the vagaries of employment. I put that in the tag line to celebrate my early retirement. (with thanks to Martin Luther King for the quote).

David

[djm]

@BigDavy

I put that in the tag line to celebrate my early retirement.

Hey! Congrats, Davy! That is truly one to be proud of. So few folks are actually managing to achieve the early retirement goal. Its a credit to you that you made it.

Way to go!

djm