My local loony paper, you couldnt make it up!

This made headlines in this weeks “Anglo celt”! my local rag.

I had to just copy and paste it cos i think you would need to register with unison otherwise! My how we irish must look!

Wow, look…new technology!!! (is it 2005??)not in Cavan anyway!

Words fail me!!
here it is!!!




New phone text language evolving in drugs dealing



By Sean McMahon

Local drug pushers and distribution “mules” have turned to mobile phone technology to conduct their business in recent times.

A complete vocabulary in mobile phone text messaging has evolved around drug trafficking and is being used by those involved in the drug trade to make contact and set up collections and deals.

A member of the Drugs Squad in Cavan and Monaghan informed the Anglo-Celt this week that some leading drug dealers have used their ill-gotten gains to purchase large houses in County Cavan to avoid the ‘heat’ and possible arrest in Dublin.

In relation to the new mobile phone vernacular, hardened drug pushers and their network of distributors use such phraseology in text messages as “Hi Johnny man, I got your number of Jimmy Bloggs, cud I meet u at the corner of u know where, and get an ounce of ya, _200, yeah”.

“Hi man, what’s the buzz, u bring me a quarter at 10pm”.

“Would I be able to get a half of ya, bout 10pm”.

The quarter and half refers to cannabis. They often also use terms like a §10 spot or a §20 spot.

Another example, “Bird from …, il take another 100 pills, be one hour, al ring you when der at the meeting place, alrite man”.

“Any chance of a quarter til Wednesday evening”. “Al rite mate, wats the crack now, wat time are yous headin to Cavan at, cuz I wanna get the ya before u go, hi man”.


The drugs squad spokesman said heroin can be referred to as “brown”, or “H” and in some towns ecstasy tables can be referred to as “yokes”. He said that cocaine was as widely used in County Cavan as cannabis or ecstasy. There is a certain amount of heroin dealing in the county, but it is not the preferred drug.

Reminds me of that bit where Cheech and Chong are watching REEFER MADNESS


“Hey man, want some ‘M’”?

Thanks, Hep Cat.

Yep you just cant keep up with this new technology! Crazy kids!

:laughing:

Another example, “Bird from …, il take another 100 pills, be one hour, al ring you when der at the meeting place, alrite man”.

I guess I don’t exactly know what text messaging is, but I think even I can figure out the vocabulary in this sentence. :laughing:

You wanna lid or a matchbox?

Ha!
Our local TV news has started doing stories about Spyware on your
home computer. They’re always a day late and a dollar short.


It’s essentially email between cell phones (so abbreviation is king).
It’s a lot bigger in Europe than in the States. Apparantly, we enjoy
utilizing our vocal chords.

Essentially email between phones? Oh dear. I really have given up on all of it. cell, cordless, satellite, voice mail, email, ring tones, I mean I can’t even figure out what the damn phone number of my cell phone is let alone use it without hunting for the instructions. And then the battery has gone dead. It’s just all WAY TOO MUCH!!! I think I should live in Cavan—except it looks like it’s catching up.

examples:

hi hw r u kping, i wud luv 2 meet u l8er!

hi how are you keeping?, i would love to meet you later. etc etc etc.

Text messaging(sms) is now the first choice of communication for anybody under the age of 90! There are serious reports of people getting RSI in their thumbs from texting.

Its been around for maybe 5-6 years now.(Seriously OLD hat).

The local rag also recently reported an assault case with a Basketball Bat!

luckily our cell phone provider has a “teen” plan. It’s not a lot of call minutes - but it has unlimited text messaging. Nate had over 600 messages (sent) one month!!!

This proves my theory that mobile phones are the tool of the Devil :smiling_imp: .

That’s terrible! :astonished: They’re way bigger than baseball bats!

Kind of reminds me about a kids tv programme from the 70’s “Catweazle”.

It was about a guy(catweazle) who was suddenly beamed from 1066 to the present day. He was afraid of everything and accused everybody of “electrickery” and called the telephone a “tellingbone”! hee hee.

Maybe it’s not drug deals but just a load of people like my wife who set their mobiles to predictive text and then don’t check the message before sending. :smiley:

“CATWEAZLE” ??? :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

And to think that I used to watch television and say, “Only in America . . .”

Will O’Ban

Yup!

I sent a txt to friend of mine who was going to an “Anne Summers” party and i txt’d (in predictive text) “ok, enjoy the anne summers party…” and something else cant rtemember precisely, but it came out something like " beware, enjoy the come runners warning!".

It was funny at the time! (ill get me coat!).

funny text message???

Try when Nate had his wisdom teeth pulled. He had never had any type of anesthesia (sp?) before. He texted his girlfriend from the “recovery” room. Lots of weird letters and some words (because of the predictive text). His girlfriend kept them and showed them to me.

You must have a different bunch of below 90 people then we do here.

We oldA folks nd transl8N hlp 2 deal W dis %-) nu lang. wuz D wrld cmng 2 Nyway?

http://www.lingo2word.com/translate.php