… has a boyfriend.
Crap.
Please add your commiserations below.
Expressions of “Ha Ha!” are not considered to be sympathetic.
However, suggestions of appropriate firearms are indeed welcome.
Thank you.
I’m not much of a gun person (not much chance for it in the city since they closed the shooting range “before my time”), so I can’t give much specific advice. But I do like my turkey gun- wasn’t too expensive either, and if the fella’s 12 too I don’t see a need for anything fancier than a shotgun like that. If he’s older than 12 lock your daughter up till she’s marrying age (say, 15), there’s really no other solution.
I’d go with a 10, maybe 12 guage pump shotgun. The sound is so intimidating you really don’t even need to load it.
I find that sharpening broadheads with a bow strung nearby can also be effective in getting people to behave themselves.
I have heard that dragging out the baby pictures is usually enough to chase them away…for a while anyway.
Actually just give you child a big hug in the presence of said boyfriend and ask her how those cold sores are healing? Or did she all the poison ivy off her hands, or just mess with her hair and comment about how almost all the nits are gone. Barring all that a cheap 22 revolver, with a foam filled pillow, don’t use fiberfill, it is much messier. Or just carry a Big Dog 500 S&W Magnum with a scope, distance is no object, reach out and touch someone.
I rather like Bill Engvall’s approach –
I’m going to pull him in tight next to me so only he and I can hear the conversation. And I’m gonna say to him, "Boy, look at me. You see that little girl right there? She’s my only little girl, man. She’s my life. So if you have any . . . thoughts . . . about huggin’, or . . . kissin’, you remember these words: ‘I’ve got no problem going back to prison.’
BTW having only boys I can’t really relate to this, but I am heavily armed so if your daughter doesn’t keep her slimy little hands off my kid… And I still don’t let them date, sub-QCs(below a quarter century) are incapable of rational relationships.
I don’t think you have anything to worry about. 12 is much too young for me.
djm
“But Your Honor, as god is my witness, I thought she was expressing her age in hexadecimal.”
Tell her you like the boy: that’ll put her off!
What kind of car does he drive?
You may have missed my recent comment in another thread.
What’s the most stupid thing in the world? A teenage boy.
What’s even more stupid? A teenage girl in love with a teenage boy.
This is your time to shine as a parent. Do your best.
Fyffer…my experience in these matters projects that to be “dating” someone at age 12 means, in layman’s terms, that
you might walk to class together if your trajectories coincide…you might prevail upon a parent to take you and your bf to see Jurassic Park 3 (or current equivalent) during which you will awkwardly ignore each other…but mostly you will be able to claim the right–in conversations with peers–that you are “going out with” so and so. And that it will last roughly 3.5 weeks. maybe.
Don’t worry. Yet.
Did I ever mention that when my daughter was a teenager all the guys she dated were confused about my Wicca religion and its relationship to Santeria?
When that wasn’t enough I’d invite them to accompany the family to either a public Full Moon ritual or party with the Dark Horde at an SCA event.
If my daughter’s boyfriend took me up on the offers it was always a given she’d be no longer interested in him.
This is excellent, btw, and I am interested to be able to prove mathematically, and far too late to be of any use, that it was creepy of the spouse-man to date me when the whole rigmarole began:
So, he was 35, and therefore eligible (35/2 + 7= 24.5) to date a person of 24.5.
Oops. I was only 21.
What should I do?
I know. I will post a creepy Facebook profile pic. Wait. I already did. Wheeew!
Out of curiosity, we will solve for x, just to see when we should have started dating (x being my age):
(x + 14)/2 + 7 = x (shiznit…I forgot how to do algebra…ok…wait…)
(x + 14)/2 + 14/2 = x
x + 28/2 = x
(&%$^#^…and some non-algebraic cheating…ok, I got it, I got it…no, seriously…I got it…)
x=28. yep. And again, oops. That’s how old I was when daughter #3 was born. Serious creepage went down, but I
think the statute of limitations has expired.
You might try my mother’s technique – a confidential warning to the young man’s mother that insanity ran in the family.
When I moved to a different school where no one had known me before, she escalated her effort to a claim that I had just been released from “an institution.” The mothers’ emergency notification network did the rest, and I was rendered a social outcast until I left for college.
I like that. Wish I’d a thought of it. Hmmm, YES it would have worked!
Having been through that with both mine, you have my sympathy. Em’s right, about two weeks is the length of each infatuation at that age. Of course you always have the horror stories in the back of your mind … I know that when my two were that age and then when older and dating, most of the boys were truly scared of my dh. He had much more of a problem with them dating than I and said the reason was that he was that age once and he knew how he was…
Oh, and the only use for those shotguns is for a true “shotgun wedding”.
On a serious note- you might want to give her, no, have her mother give her, Dr. Laura’s 10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess Up Their Lives-no girl wants this book from her dad.
http://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Women-Their-Lives/dp/0060976497?tag=dogpile-20
- (I don’t agree with a lot of her stuff, but this one is pretty good.I’d have given it to mine had I had it back then. I gave it to my 30 yr old last year and we ruefully joked at the fact it was a bit late, since she’d managed to check off most of the list, but we also agreed it’s never too late to learn something.)
My husband asks the guys “How fast can you run?”…
I could have used a copy of that. I had to learn the hard way.
As for the 12-year old, chaperone, chaperone, chaperone. 12-year old kids who think they’re “dating” do not need privacy.