I just got this e-mail from our local homeschool group.
Marital arts eh?
I guess that’s the sex ed part of the curriculum 
At least it didn’t say ‘marital art’s’.
I don’t know how people could misspell “acts.” 
One of the first and most crucial marital arts a man learns is knowing when to say, “Yes, dear.” 
Didn’t work at all for me… 
Well, yeah, me neither, but it kept the projectiles at a minimum while it lasted.
The fine art of checking the house for projectile weapons before you bring home the 50" plasma tv is so lost on the youth of today.
djm
I just tell my wife, “I’m the man, I make the money! You can’t tell me what to do!”
Note: My wife does not read this forum. Please don’t make any attempt to seek out her e-mail address and inform her of this post. Please. No, seriously… please.
That’s a baby DAUGHTER you got there too Protean. Kiss that bass boat good-bye say hello to a line-item for make-up.
2 daughters, actually. It’s me… all on my own.. against three. I REALLY don’t stand a chance. I tell you, by the time they’re off to college, I’m going to know more about frilly things than I care to. It doesn’t help that my wife has a degree in fashion design and merchandising, either, so I can tell you all about ruching, taffeta, gingham, interfacing, darts, weaves, etc. A real man’s man, I am!..
No, it’s true. You don’t. We have 3 girls, who are now 22, 20, and 18. Well…then a boy did come along who is now almost 17, but still, a
m/f ratio of 2/4 heavily favored an estrogen-dominant household.
But still…we encourage the males in our domain to have opinions. It’s cute.
The following comments pertain to the fine art of getting along with your spouse. At the dinner table this evening my wife confided in me that she was not happy with all of the “stuff” sitting on our kitchen table and on the metal stand beside the table. I tried to explain to her that I feel comfortable being able to see and easily get to all of my containers of snack items and nutritional suppliments. I wouldn’t want them shut away in a cabinet somewhere. Of course, when we are expecting house guests, I have to clean up the mess. In the interior decorating magazines that show a variety of kitchen interiors, I like to see designs that incorporate open shelves filled with all sorts of colorful jars and boxes of food and counter tops partially covered with beautiful fruit, vegetables, and plants. The neat look of bare counter tops and closed cabinet doors feels less homey to me.
I suppose that I am a little selfish and controlling, but at least I allow her all sorts of liberties to redecorate the rooms of the house as she pleases. For example, she didn’t ask me when she decided to change the “theme” of our kitchen decor from a “cat theme” to a “chicken theme”. Now we have six pictures of roosters on the walls, rooster hand towels, a rooster rug and cutting board. Tonight she informed me that she was thinking about changing the theme of our upstairs bathroom from a “Paris theme” to one that she hasn’t decided yet, but it will mean more unnecessary expense, if you ask me. Shucks, I have grown accustomed to all the paintings and sculptures of the Eiffel Tower.
thankfully mine is not a theme kinda girl
well, unless ya count the FILO stacks on all flat surfaces
Great story Doug. My wife & I believe in function over decoration. We used to know a lady who completely redecorated her house all the time. One time, she was throwing away perfectly good stuff that happened to match what we had and there were a few things that we needed. She gave them to us. After that, she always gave us first dibs but there were very few things that we needed and we always told her that her other shelves were holding up quite well.
I really don’t get throwing away perfectly good canisters, wall decorations, shelves, clocks, and flower pots because you’re getting new curtains and they won’t match the new curtains and you buy new canisters, wall decorations, shelves, clocks, and other stuff. And when this lady would decorate, she would completely remove everything that could be moved from a kitchen, dining room, or livingroom, then maybe remodel like replace a window with a bay window, break through a wall, repaint or wall paper, change the flooring, buy new furniture, and completely re-do everything. I have known these people for 30 years. I could not count how many times they did this. Once, I went to visit them and couldn’t find their house because within a month, they had changed their front porch into a new addition to their home.
nope gotcha beat…you have to be able to name all the Sanrio characters, their special power, tell one “groovy-girl” doll from the other, and..
wait for it…
and this is how one can tell a REAL man from a woos…
be able to match size 12 and 13 black ballet, jazz, and tap dance shoes, and shoe each girl in 15 minutes or less!
this is why they make scotch
HA! 
hmm.. betcha got more than one bathroom too dontcha? Dontcha? 
Ahh, you’ve got it down to a fine art! Good for you!
My poor dh is in the same boat- me and two daughters. Of course they are grown but we have one grandchild…yep…she’s wonderful!
Doug, you must know that you have a very tolerant wife.
(can’t imagine my dh having any say at all in what is done with the house)
Funny Story:
In our younger days, my wife and I moved around a lot. It was not worth our while to own decorations, so we didn’t. We rented one house that was huge (to us.) Whenever family or company would visit us, we’d go to our local library. Paintings and sculptures and other art objects could be checked out just like books for one month at a time. We’d check out enough to respectfully fill the house. Our friends and families got in the habit of saying, “Oh, we like these better than last time.” or “Don’t get that one again.” They became quite the art critics.