Mircrophone Terror and Total Humiliation

Whistle
1

How do people cope with total stage fright? I go off the deep end and get totally neurotic and nuts on this one. Busking in Deadwood wasn’t bad, because people tend to ignore you, and the old ostrich trick seems to work on the street. I close my eyes and stick my head up my a** and pretend nobody can see me. However, when faced with the prospect of going on stage and playing into a microphone, I barf, shake, sweat, my mouth goes dry, and I can’t play worth a darn. I work hard at practicing, but last night at an open mike was devastating. I’m fine hiding in the back and playing with other people, and have made it clear I never go near a stage or a mike.

The only thing good about last night is I did not barf, and the whole thing was, the guys said if I wanted to play I had to sit closer to the stage. That wasn’t bad, but when somebody set up the mike, I lost it. I’m still blushing when I think about it. (I’m NOT kidding, Mick!) Does anybody have any suggestions for me? The wierd thing is, I can get up on stage and do performance poetry in front of hundreds of people and don’t have a qualm. I hate to think that this stage fright that feels so crippling now is going to keep me from playing for and with other people in the future!



[ This Message was edited by: Anna Martinez on 2001-10-29 13:07 ]

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Hi, Anna.

It’s been my experience that this, like most other fears, can be overcome by confronting it until it gives up and goes away. Try playing in front of close friends. Many people find this much more daunting than playing in front of strangers, so it can be good practice. When on stage, breathe deeply and slowly, and get to playing as soon as possible. Once you start, just let the world fade out like you do on the street.

Really, the best way to do it is to do it. Alot. It will get easier with time.

Here’s to your future successes. clink!

Tom

3

The nearest to this phobia I have is recording phobia. And I don’t have a huge phobia about this, but I do get uptight when faced with rolling tape. So try recording stuff? It faces you with a mike.

Also, you may just have to get on the stage a few times and do awful and live through it. Flubs aren’t the end of the world. I switched instruments in my Church group from one I was very comfortable on (bass) to one that had much more potential (Chapman Stick), but that I was much less comfortable on. I had to bite the bullet, let go of my ego, and sound pretty durn bad for about a year. I’ve been playing Stick in Church for 3 years now, and it’s paid off wonderfully, but it was really rough at first! Similarly, the payoff for you (future wonderful on-stage experiences) would be worth it.

4

Hi Anna!
Wow, that’s pretty severe. Here’s my two cents.
I’ve been playing whistle for about 4 years now and flute for about a year. I began whistle at the beginning of college and went on from there.
I don’t know if there are any sessions in your area, but a good way to become comfortable playing on a stage is to just begin by playing with other people. In a session you can often join in without being in the spotlite, get a good feel for the music, and make a lot of good friends. It’s sort of a bridge between playing for an audience and playing in private. I started going to a weekly session almost as soon as I got my whistle and knew a single tune. For a long time I just sort of sat and listened, and every once in a while I’d be invited to try and play a tune. When I look back I realize how mazingly friendly, supportive and patient those folks were to an absolute beginner. When I went to that first session I didn’t even know that the whistle played in more than one octave. I had just heard Irish music and knew that I loved it and wanted to learn it. After a couple of months of listening and getting to know everyone at the session the tunes started to sink in, I started to get a feel for the music, and I started to be able to play tunes.
The first time I played solo was at my church. I was really nervous, but it was really nice because I knew the preacher, I knew most of the people in attendance, and I could just play a slow air and take my time and nobody would really know if I messed up or not. Of course, I did mess up, badly, but nobody knew and I didn’t tell them. I continued to play at church all through college and each time it got a little easier. So, try playing for people you know and are comfortable with. That might be a litte nervewracking at first, but you’ll get used to it and it’ll help you move towards playing on stage.
Eventually I did decide that I wanted to play in an open mic. I was SO nervous. I went in there and my hands were shaking and I wasn’t breathing right, but I played, and messed up badly, but people loved it. Again, each time I played it got a little bit easier. Now I still get nervous, but it’s certainly not as bad as it used to be.
The last thing to consider is that Irish music really isn’t meant to be performance music anyways. It makes for wonderful performance music, and concerts are great, but it really belongs in the session and in ceilis. That’s where it is most at home and most alive. I guess what I’m trying to say is that there’s really no need to play in an open mic unless you want to. Hardly anyone is ever going to become famous for playing Irish music, and they are certainly not going to get rich, so why not just play for our selves, play for our friends and just enjoy it. Irish music is fun!
All the best,
Chris

5

Anna,

I used to play flute and sing in church choir/orchestra, and there would be days where it seemed that no one came in at the right time, no song was perfect, and some were just downright flubbed. We’d all shake our heads at the conclusion of the musically botched mass, then a parishioner would come up to us and say, “Why, that was the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard at a mass–y’all were wonderful!” Most folks don’t have a lot of musical training, so they don’t know when you mess up. So it probably wasn’t as bad as all that. But like the others said, doing it will get easier. I’ve gotta teach a class at work soon for the first time, so I feel your pain!

6

I usually can pretend that every flub I make is deliberate and fake my way through, but last night was the worst! I need to keep my eye on the guys I play with when we play together, so I can’t close my eyes and stick my head up my a**! I swear I’m the only person here in West River Dakota who does play Irish music at all! The stage terror thing would almost be funny, but it’s me sitting there screeching “Gawd! Don’t ANYBODY even look at me!” I remined me of a three year old I know who is terified of cameras. She just pitches herself to the floor and throws a fit! I’m too old to get away with that! I know most of the people I play with fairly well, and they’re really great about sharing their own experiences with loosing it on stage. Somebody suggested I picture an audience with their clothes off, but I can’t, I’m too busy being totally terrified and horribly embarassed. I’m going to lay off for at least half a day and see if I can hit it fresh. A little stage fright I can see, but this feels like a pysch disorder! (Banging head on cement sidewalk!) Thanks for your support, you guys.

\

Let it shine! Anna “FeelingLikeATotallyInadequateMouse” Martinez


[ This Message was edited by: Anna Martinez on 2001-10-29 15:15 ]

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Whoops! Posted twice! I’m all wound up thinking about this!

[ This Message was edited by: Anna Martinez on 2001-10-29 15:11 ]

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Hello:
I am correcing an error I posted yesterday:
The title of the book is “The Inner Game of Music”, by authors Barry Green, and W. Timothy Gallwey. It was published in 1996 by Doubleday books. That’ll teach me to post from work…

Please accept my apologies for any wild goose chases that have occurred.

Wishing you all the best,
Mark Sackett

[ This Message was edited by: mark02 on 2001-10-30 13:14 ]

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I’m going to look for a copy of Zen and the Art of Making Music in a minute. Before I do, I want to tell you Anna that you are doing great! You are obviously a very sharing feeling person or else you wouldn’t have started this string–so your public performances will be very valuable to your audience regardless of your proficiency. Nice musicians are more important than nice music.

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Dear Anna,
You were shaking at the same time I was! I’m usually fine in session, then someone stuck a mike over the dulcimer last night in the middle of a piece I know WELL, and my hands almost couldn’t hold the hammers for the trembling. My left arm refused to work, and I was left trying to pick the melody with just my right hand, then that started going wobbly too. I don’t get nauseous, but I do come close to tears.
During break, when the musicians and then the punters get into the dinner line, I stayed with my instrument, and with the mike going, I played. Eventually a few people came by and listened, but at least I worked through that particular instance of stage terror. I’m sure it’ll come back, but I’ll keep ploughing away.
It’s nice to have a sympathetic audience, and most of them are.
One of my mentors refuses to let us stop mid tune during a solo, and is pleased as long as we finish a piece, not matter how awful we do it. He had one guy sing his song four times during one session, just to get over his terror.
A suggestion for both of us: grab a friend and sit them down with the instruction to listen INTENTLY, and tell them that there are going to be major mistakes. Play the piece through as many times as you would in a ‘performance’ without stopping, and without apologizing before, during or after. I would choose an air, or waltz, something slow.
Major hugs to you, Anna. . .you did good just to face the mike and do your best!

11

Anna,
I know exactly what you are going through, and it is sheer hell! I have been performing now for over 25 years and I still get nervous -sometimes more than others - but at least I am not as incapacitated as I used to be. Even as a kid in school I would be in an acute state of panic just thinking that the teacher would call on me to answer a question! The advice already given is very good. My suggestion for what helped me is to perform in a very low threatening environment where people are only half listening (background music) as often as possible - every evening or at least a few times a week over several weeks to de-sensitize yourself. We had a gig once playing in a restaurant in the evenings. As you gain more confidence, up the ante and play where people are paying more attention. The more success you have, the less your fear will become. I know it is difficult to imagine, but what is the worse thing that could happen if you make a mistake while performing? Nobody is going to die (It just feels like you might!) Sometimes, it is living through the mistakes that makes you realize that mistakes are not so bad. Even the best of the pro’s make mistakes they just don’t let it throw them.. Make sure you play pieces you are really comfortable with/can play in your sleep and when performing with others, practice your program lots with them before the gig.
It takes time but it does get easier, the more you do it - just look at your confidence doing readings!
Good luck,
Sue

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Isn’t an a** a donkey? Here in Australia it’s more likely to be spelled a***.

I’d also encourage you to record yourself … for me too it introduces similar responses to being on stage. Get one, maybe two musically competent friends to sit down with you and record something you all know. You’ll find yourself having thoughts like “I’ve got to get it right first time or I’ll be letting my friends down”, and feeling quite flustered … just like on stage. Don’t get too many friends over or you’ll be able to “hide” behind their instruments.

13

All of the above advice is great - esp. about recording yourself. Knowing there’s a microphone listening always makes my hands sweaty regardless how familiar or comfortable the setting is. It helps to know that the goal is not to eliminate the stress, but to be able to play through it.
The other thing that’s helped me is borrowed from competitive sports - positive visualizations. Take some time before your performance to sit down, and visualize yourself going thru the tunes. Imagine yourself playing well, happily, enjoying the music. Recreate that happy feeling you have when you’re playing with friends and are really in the groove of the music. It even helps to imagine yourself making a mistake and recovering, doing it gracefully and calmly. Imagine a receptive audience, smiling, tapping their toes, obviously enjoying your music. Do this a while before your performance so that when the time gets closer and you start to really get nervous, you can bring up those preprepared images of playing well. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy that works! :slight_smile:

14

Boy, I know what you’re talking about. The shaking and the dry mouth. Ugh. I don’t even want to think about.

I think the advice given here is really great!

Just wanted to add that you shouldn’t think there’s anything wrong with you. It’s the Crystal People, you know. Stage fright and public-whistling phobia is one of their favorite pranks. Ask Dale, he knows.

15

I have played Bass in bands onstage for sometime now, always get an adrenalin rush.
I can psych myself into recognising it as nerves. I find afterwards I am very mellow, more so then normal.

Recently I have preformed open mics solo on acoustic and vocals. I’m very selfconcious about my voice, so I rarely sing seriously around people. But I do believe in my voice as it is different. That is I “hear it” in the songs, and because they are original tunes, they fit the music.
My first time out was an absolute disaster, in MY eyes. I stopped, flubbed, muttered, forgot words ect…

But still, I knew I could do it, my voice is good and unique. So I went back and played week after week, each time playing and singing new compositions, and backlog material. Still nervous but persistant. I knew I had to cross the river if I ever wanted to have a fulfilling musical life. The water was freezing when I jumped in, now it’s just cold, and warming all the time.

It helps to understand that unless people are paying good money to see you play, they are going to be more then forgiving with mistakes and quality. People are supportive in those places, otherwise they wouldn’t be there.

Were all in the same boat at an open mic.

Anyways I guess what I’m getting at is, believe in yourself and use the desire to bring your music out, to fight the stagefright. Keep practicing using the drive to jump the hurdle. This might mean practicing the same three songs over and over for a week straight. Practice for the performance recording yourself with a mic. at home. Ignore the mic onstage.

When you start to feel wierd turn the “nerves” into adrenalin and see it as that. Your excited to play.

Hope this helps
Good Luck more important have fun, Jack Orion

16

I was always EXTREMELY nervous about performing (giving talks, presentations, etc.), but I’ve never screwed up too badly, so it’s abated in the last ten years or so (I haven’t performed music in over 15, but giving talks at conferences is, in all honesty, a somewhat higher stakes game for me). The mic was always my focal point – I just concentrated on the thing in front of my face, and the whole world pretty much disappeared. I always performed solo, voice and lap dulcimer, so it all showed, good and bad.

I’ve known people who had extreme stagefright of the type and degree Anna is enquiring about. There’s a medication called Inderol ( or enderol) that’s primarily a blood-pressure drug, but is also prescribed for extreme stage fright, and I’ve heard is very effective.

Charlie

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Oh, man…and all Wellbutrin did was take away my craving for chocolate! I’m also terrified of heights, never was this neurotically fearful before! Is this part of getting older, ya think?

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To add to all the good advice given above, here are a couple of points that have helped me a great deal.

When you are “put on the spot” and asked to play for people unexpectedly - not necessarily on stage, but maybe in a session, or in front of some famous musician you’ve just been introduced to - always start with a piece that you have been playing a long time, that you know inside out, and that is well within your abilities. And play it more slowly than you think you normally would: nerves nearly always make you play faster.

Whatever you do, don’t try that wonderful and difficult new piece that you are still learning or that thought you had mastered the night before. You’ll almost certainly bungle it.

Once you have started with something easy, you have a better chance of relaxing. Anyway, better to play a simple polka with a good steady beat than to play something complex that you can’t keep a steady beat on.

When you’re playing on stage, take the attitude that what you have to offer is worth hearing. OK so you’re not Mary Bergin, but you are someone up there with a real instrument and you are going to play real live music, and that is a very valuable thing. And the kind of music you play is valuable music, right, otherwise why would you want to play it to anyone? Play your music modestly, but as if it means something to you - people will tune in to this very quickly, even if they know sweet FA about whistles, or music in general, or the type of music you’re playing in particular.

People will usually be on your side, and if anybody isn’t, well, take the view that that’s their loss, not yours. Also, you don’t have to be perfect: allow yourself to make mistakes.

As for microphones, well, it’s a chance for you to hear the sound of your instrument filling a room or big hall. It’s power! Enjoy the feeling…

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Anna,

…and you say you can read your poetry in front of hundreds without any problem. It is obviously because writing is something you do very well. It is “YOU” and you are comfortable sharing that part of you with anyone.

Make the tunes you want to play in public “yours” as well. Practice them, know them inside out. Pick tunes you love to play.

The suggestion to play for a few close friends was a great one.

You could also try aromatherapy. I have a litle inhaler that looks like a “vicks” but contains a mix of fragrances which brings your “balance” back.
It does work for me when I need to calm down.

Laughter is also a great stress reliever, in whatever way. (and I am sure you 'll think of something)

Best of luck. I know exactly what you are going through

Sibyle


[ This Message was edited by: Otter on 2001-10-29 21:45 ]

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I’ve heard of this, but it’s so much fun to go stand in front of every one. Maybe if you had a pint of ale first.