The one I find quite strange, and the song my wife really likes to play is:
Pull The Knife And Stick It Again 
I didn’t sleep well for a couple of nights after she told me that!
D.I.V.O.R.C.E
( Tammy Wynett.)
May she rest in peace,
Pax,
D.
Just come back by playing “I Burried My Wife And Danced On Top Of Her.” Of course, if she gets you first, “Old Hag You Have Killed Me” may be more appropriate.
But really, I am just kidding. No reason to worry, the currect full title of the tune your wife likes is “Pull the Knife Out of the Bodhran and Stick It Again.”
As for truly inexplicable names: What the hell is “Porthold of the Kelp” supposed to mean?
It’s obviously about a sunken ship. Been taken over by seaweed.
An old Irish song, which is ,very basically…
“porthold” is a basic navigational error which is very simple to correct, in most cases.
In this context, “Kelp” means seaweed ( of a certain type),
According to local legend, there were so many souls drifting around the Kelp part of the coast that every time they felt the need to enjoy some family contact they would take over the physical aspect of the Kelp and drag some unfortunate sailor down to join them.
And so, to get to the point;
Any poor sailor,who made the simple error of “porthold” could end up in a rather nasty place where Kelp abounds, and that is that.
Slan,
D.
What about the song off of Pink Floyds Ummagumma Album: Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict.
Isn’t a Pict one of the ancient tribes of Scotland? I didn’t know they grooved! 
Sir,
Would that be the live version,the studio version or the other one?
Slan,
D.
I just heard one by Pink Floyd that had me rolling on the floor: Careful with That Axe, Eugene.
The Pink Floyd had occurred to me, too – it’s a pretty neat tune, if you can call it that. Some of my favorites are from Frank Zappa (his publishing company was Barking Pumpkin records):
Prelude to the afternoon of a sexually aroused gasmask
Dwarf nebula processional and dwarf nebula
Evelyn, a modified dog
Peaches en regalia
Irish trad tunes: for some reason anything with hag just kind of tickles me. “Old hag you have killed me” has already been mentioned; “Hag at the churn” I just find a humorous sound.
Sumer Is Icumen In.
OK, Zappa’s the hands down winner.
I’ve just rediscovered the first two Soft Machine albums. Here’s a few contenders from those sources alone:
*Dedicated to You but You Weren’t Listening
*So Boot if at All
*Box 25/4 Lid
*Esther’s Nose Job
or one of many Zappa titles missed so far:
*Invocation and Ritual Dance of the Young Pumkin
and finally a few interesting titles from Captain Beefheart:
*Old Fart at Play
*She’s Too Much for My Mirror
*Lick My Decals Off, Baby
*I Love You, Big Dummy
*The Clouds Are Full of Wine (not Whiskey or Rye)
I think the live version would be the most appropriate given the title!
I’m a pretty big Zappa-head myself! My favorite Zappa titles are:
Sinister Footwear 2nd Movement
Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
Variations On The Carlos Santana Secret Chord Progression
Let’s Make the Water Turn Black
What’s the Ugliest Part of Your Body
Come to think of it, almost every Zappa song has a funny title :roll: COOOL!!!
Oh, I almost forgot!!!
Zappa:
Why does it Hurt When I Pee.
Truly a classic. Unfortunately, I can only listen to Zappa with headphones now. I’m trying to delay my childrens corruption as long as possible!
“Fasten the Leg on Her” said the doctor to prothesis (?) technician after she had her lag amputated. 
MarkB
…good to see some Pink Floyd fans in here…
from Brian Eno’s “Here Come the Warm Jets” album:
“the Paw Paw Negro Blowtorch”
“Dead Finks Don’t Talk”
more Frank Zappa here, from the album “Hot Rats”:
“the Gumbo Variations”
“It Must Be a Camel”
…and finally, one of my own songs entitled: “Black Holes Make the Supernovas Sing”
the only lyrics in the song are:
The captain stood on the deck of his ship
and laughed at the universe
Planets have their stars and everything
black holes make the supernovas sing…
I heard that her lag was in prison at the time of the alleged incident.
Slan,
D.
Here are some by Canterbury groups
Hatfield And the North:
(Big) John Wayne socks Psichology On The Jaw
Gigantic Land Crabs in Earth Takeover Bid
Mumps
Fitter Soke Has a bath
Egg:
The Song of McGillicudie The Pusillanimous (Or Don’t Worry James, Your Socks Are Hanging In The Coal Cellar With Thomas)
They Laughed When I Sat Down At The Piano
National Health
Croquette for Electronic Beating Group
Gilgamesh
Other Boating Disasters (From The Holiday Of The Same Name)
Nice thread 
that takes me back a few years.
personally i liked ‘Chaos at the Greasy Spoon’ too