the scoop:
Rueful is he who began his search a step too late.
the lie:
What you don’t know can’t hurt you.
fashion advice:
Wear not fine clothery when greeting a just-been-drinking St. Bernard.
all wet:
He who stands still for too long a time looks a lot like a tree.
community:
One thorough nuzzling is like being personally introduced to every butt in the park.
djm
joie de vivre:
Playing fetch and keep-away with a tennis ball is a lot more fun than hitting the same ball back-and-forth over a net.
never say die:
When playing frisbee with Border Collies, plan to set aside at least a couple of hours.
the warning:
“wha daur meddle wi’ me” (think Skye or Scottie)
Trust not the great dane circling behind the bench, for he has long legs and can overshoot.
the terrier-ist:
I will never give up. Ever. No one can stop me, because this barking, digging, terrier-izing is my life’s calling.
the guy for whom his rottweiler is an extension of his penis:
Relax, they’re only playing. Once, my dog killed a pony.
on friendship:
a good ass-scratch is the fastest way to make friends and influence people
on ass-scratching:
One good ass-scratch is never enough
on families without dogs:
The grass is green and soft and the sun shines warmly, but no one picnics twice at the off-leash beach.
People who do not trust strange men will trust a strange man with a dog.
Any dog’s face and manner will tell you most of what you need to know about his person’s character.
Heaven hath no pleasures to compare to a good snooze.
Corollary:
The fastest way to meet women is to hang out on a college campus with a puppy.
The best dogs are old dogs.
If they could just last longer…
Amen. 