I posted something about this on that “Need more whistle threads” thread, but since it didn’t get a response, I’ll just post a little thing on my own…
I recorded a song of my own on Clips and Snips. I’m brand spankin’ new to composing, and would like some constructive criticism, hints, tips… whatever. I’d really like to keep writing songs, but I feel like I don’t know how to get it out correctly, if that makes sense.
Anywho, here’s the link… it’s the first one I believe, “Yearning” by Sara Shaw.
Thanks!
Hi Sara,
Lovely tune! I need to give it a few more listens when I’m not in the office. Do you have a link to the sheet music or ABC notation anywhere?
I’m no expert on composing, I’ve written only a couple of tunes when the muse take me. One joy of the whistle is that it lends itself nicely to just messing about with a theme, and letting the variations find themselves, and that’s how I write when I do - just play, and then try to get the notes down on paper before I forget them.
Not very helpful, but I liked your tune and think it deserves recognition!
Martin
great tune enjoyed it
on the (constructive criticism) advise/personal taste front if I was playing it -which I will when you post the music!! -I’d probably drop the last 2 notes and just play an extended 3rd from last
well have listened to it about 15 times now (plus point of your own office)now think maybe put an extra in ? err… as in
daarr.da.dar.daarr.
if that makes sense?
but its great.
come on then post the music - please
Richard.
rbm, in the wilds of the English Lake District, where the fells stand clear in the sunlight above the valley sea of shimmering mist
[ This Message was edited by: rbm on 2003-02-13 07:20 ]
Thanks for the response Martin and Richard,
I haven’t a clue how to write it out ABC format (that’s always eluded me), but a little later I’ll write it out on my own sheet music and scan it.
Thanks for the suggestion Richard.. that’s actually how I originally played it, but then I just threw in the last part for kicks. 
Lovely, Sara. Nice and lonesome-sounding, and I think you nailed the toughest part: simplicity makes the best elegance. That’s why I don’t compose much; my stuff comes off as if I’m getting paid by the note. Great job!
N, inelegant
Thank you N, and everyone else for the kind words. You have no idea how much the encouragement means to me!!
Here’s the sheet music. It scanned pretty crappily (what else is new), but it’s legible at least. (I hope!)
http://www.geocities.com/cosmosara/index.html
(I tried, but I can’t get the image into the post for the life of me.)
[ This Message was edited by: Soineanta on 2003-02-13 15:57 ]
[ This Message was edited by: Soineanta on 2003-02-13 15:58 ]
Hi Sara,
I printed out the sheet music. Now I just have to figure out why I can’t hear the clip you posted. I emailed Tony for assistance. I don’t know why I can’t hear it. I can hear all the rest of the tunes posted on his site. I will just have to try to play it myself to hear how it sounds. Congratulations on your accomplishment. It’s something I haven’t even attempted yet. I hope to some day.
Thanks for sharing the sheet music with us all.
Cheers,
Kathy
[/quote] Now I just have to figure out why I can’t hear the clip you posted. I emailed Tony for assistance. I don’t know why I can’t hear it. [/quote]
It might be that you don’t have your sound turned up loud enough.. it’s really quiet. Durn crappy mic! Good luck on that, and thanks.
On 2003-02-13 18:19, Soineanta wrote:
Now I just have to figure out why I can’t hear the clip you posted. I emailed Tony for assistance. I don’t know why I can’t hear it. [/quote]
It might be that you don’t have your sound turned up loud enough.. it’s really quiet. Durn crappy mic! Good luck on that, and thanks.
[/quote]
AHA, I figured it out! It wasn’t your mic. It was a setting that my son who likes “BASS” had changed on my play controls on my volume controller. I reset it to 50% instead of 100%. So now I can hear your very pretty tune. It’s really lovely.
Thanks again for sharing it with us.
Kathy
On 2003-02-13 15:47, Soineanta wrote:
Thank you N, and everyone else for the kind words. You have no idea how much the encouragement means to me!!Here’s the sheet music. It scanned pretty crappily (what else is new), but it’s legible at least. (I hope!)
http://www.geocities.com/cosmosara/index.html
(I tried, but I can’t get the image into the post for the life of me.)
[ This Message was edited by: Soineanta on 2003-02-13 15:57 ][ This Message was edited by: Soineanta on 2003-02-13 15:58 ]
Just save it to my hard drive, I’ll print it out at dinertime when my boss nips home! hehehe 
Richard.
Hi Sara,
Thanks for the sheetmusic, I’m gonna give it a spin myself!
cheers, Martin
simply grins
Thanks, you guys.
Hi Sara,
OK, I’ve given it a good workout! It’s really nice, certainly gets the feeling across. I’ve got a couple of (constructive!) suggestions, and you’re welcome to tell me to forget them, 'cos it’s your tune (ahem, not song, I see no words <pedant, Martin, pedant!>).
Bar 1, I’d change the G to an A, and in bar 6 I’d change the second A to a G; ditto in bar 23, A to a G. For me that keeps the established theme flowing.
When moving from the first to the second part, I’d put in an extra note thus: first time, bar 8 is /E2D/ (the D being the first note of the tune), second time, /EGB/, the B being the first note of the next part. You could try /EAB/. I like both, not sure which is better, but probably the first one. This ties the two parts together more subtly.
Lastly, The notation is slightly out ( me being very fussy this!). For part two, as in part one, you start with the one note lead in, the B. The d is then the first note of the new bar, and so through to the end, where you have a 2 beat note (The 3rd beat of this bar is then the initial D of the whole tune). The first beat of each bar has the emphasis, and this is how you played it, but not quite how it’s written.
Golly, anyone else notice why I’m not a teacher? 
I hope that’s understandable - It’d be clearer if I wrote out what I meant out for you, but I don’t have the technology to scan it afterwards! I might be able to mug it up on the tune-o-tron on Concertina.net, which has an ABC to sheetmusic converter, if that would be clearer.
Anyway, if the tune is heard wafting hauntingly over the hills and valleys of deepest darkest Dorset in the next few days, don’t go blaming me, you wrote it!
Hi Martin,
Thanks for all the comments! I’ll send you a clip of myself playing it the way you suggested (I hope!), so you can tell me if that’s correct or not.
I KNEW the notation would be messed up somewhere, thanks for pointing that out! I’ve only notated little things before, so it’s pretty new to me.
I like all the changes you suggested, assuming I’m doing them right. I don’t know if I like them BETTER than the original; they’re almost two different tunes in that way. But I like both!
Thanks again. Clip on its way…