Hats off to Eskin in his new-found, all consuming pursuit; but we all know that what is far more important is the player (see 99.9% of Peter’s posts regarding Generation whistles). We need to first select a committee of esteemed judges (Laban, Bloomfield, Eskin, sorry too busy, etc.), as this process must encompass notable “feel” for the music and confirmation of who is actually playing, and must therefore be live. To lend further credence to the project we must pick a date and time when ALL (3500+?)of us are available, as well as a suitable venue (proper echo effects, etc.).
Each player must select his “best” or favorite tunes and include samples from each of several genres, including air, jig, reel, hornpipe, slide, polka, fling, march. No sheet music allowed.
I will be working at a dizzying pace on the criteria as well as the acceptable values along those criteria. For example, criteria will include demeanor, apparel, stance, adaptability to surroundings, sense of humor. and ease of effort. Extra credit will be awarded for audibility, flow, phrasing, stamina, appropriate use of ornamentation, and speed.
Values or assessments will be confined to a given chart of same. These may include, for example:
Wow, that was impressive, but s/he needs to have a better time doing it..
Blinding speed, but…
We didn’t understand a word, but good to dance to..
Coming along..
Nice individual style, although certainly not ITM..
Has s/he begun yet..
Has s/he finished yet..
Interesting, but..
Promotion to judges panel..
You’ve been playing how many years..
You’ve been playing how many days..
Please let me know what your thoughts are and when you’d be available for the grand event. Thanking you in advance.
Surely using human judges is too subjective. Why not code a computer program which can objectively compare each player’s performance with an ideal recording of the same tune?
Thank you ElPollo; I’m just including deductions for unwanted (can there be wanted) squawks and squeaks, shrillness of tone, utter lifelessness of playing, lack of lilt, swing, pizzazz or any other acceptable form of verve, elan or esprit de corps…
I think Louis Armstrong had the right idea. He said something along these lines: “If it makes you tap your feet, it’s good music. If it don’t, it ain’t.”
Most judging criteria are not objectively or credibly implemented. Therefore I second the motion to get the American Idol panel to do the job. At least C&F will get gobs of prime time coverage and the winner will get a recording contract and radioplay.
And of course, anyone actually agreeing to submit to the judging gets a healthy deduction, since a true player is above competition and rankings. But one would get a large bonus score if one were dead.
I’d like to propose a special judging category for dead musicians.
It’s apparent in some ITM circles that the best, most esteemed and respected, and only truly traditional musicians are the dead ones. Having a pulse is considered not only highly suspect, but downright rude. Without a stack of 78s or wax cylinders to your name, you might as well go ahead and take up playing aleatoric Afro-Celto-Latino fusion hip-hop, for all the chance you have of ever sounding traditional.
Note that this category is not the same as the sentiment in other circles that the only good musician is a dead musician. That is something entirely different, and may involve firearms.
In order to allow for this category, some of the proposed criteria may have to be relaxed. Things like demeanor, adaptability, and sense of humor should be optional. As for stance, horizontal is perfectly acceptable. And for apparel, O’Connell’s South Side Mortuary and Irish Gift Shoppe will gladly donate time, services, and spiffy reusable duds.
Of course, dead musicians are less likely to play at breakneck speeds, and are more apt to favor the leisurely pace and phrasing of, say, East Clare style. So this is unlikely to be an issue.
Dead contestants are certainly also eligible for promotion to the judges panel, with the caveat that they may be indistinguishable from other selected Chiff & Fipple participants.
And the winner would receive a lifetime of achievement award such as the ones granted at the Oscars, say, just after the big commercial break. That could work quite well when we’ve had a few nominees who were longtime sentimental favorites or frequent runner-ups.
And we may eventually have one or two stiffs who get blacklisted as heretics for gratuitous flutter tonguing, vibrato, recording The Kesh Jig on a tenor recorder, appearing in Vegas with Celine Dion, etc. But they get recognized much later on as geniuses who advanced the art. Needless to say, they died drunk (choked on their vomit) and penniless but their Copeland was buried with them… their epitaphs humbly marked, Toodleloo or Whistle-On.
tolls