It’s a lot simpler than cricket Steve.
The breaks are really handy because it gives you time to figure out what the hell just happened. It also means you have time to raise your quaffing pot to your lips without the danger of missing something.
Just think Rugby as devised by a health and safety inspector.
What’s a break? I don’t understand rugby either. Isn’t it a game played by men with oval balls?
Steve
Since that’s not going to happen, you could always dress up as a Cowboys Cheerleader and make your own damn tea! 
… again??? 
As often as it takes.
The up shot is your neighbors will take it as your normal behavior after a while and stop calling the cops. 
American football… you know, the 60 minute game that takes 240 minutes to televise.
