Only two days to go so I thought we’d better get the ball rolling. Anybody care to make any predictions?
Brett Lee doesn’t play due to exhaustion and knee infection. McGrath still out. England field the same team.
England win the toss and bat first, scoring 437 by Saturday lunchtime. Australia, lacking the batting guts of Brett Lee, are bowled out for 226, and are asked to follow on. Scoring 343 in their second innings, they are all out by Sunday teatime, setting England 133 to win. England openers make a hash of it, and England are 67 for 6 at teatime. Geraint Jones and Ashley Giles then grind out another 50 before another wicket falls.
With just 16 runs to win, an overexuberant streaker of undeterminable sex distracts the batsmen, bowlers, umpires and commentators, resulting in two rapid wickets. With the last man in and ten still to score to win the match, Hoggard slams a six into the BBC commentary box, the ball landing in a chocolate cake, sent to the TMS team by a Mrs Trellis of North Wales. Distracted beyond redemption, Fred Truman who was providing the colour commentary says he’s never seen anything like it before, shaking his head.
England win when Hoggard drives a straight four off a full toss from Shane Warne, but nobody notices. Chaos ensues.
And Kevin Pietersen will give up the badger look in favour of hedgehog.
And Giles will thump one into Ponting’s pad only to have it given not out on the grounds it was turning too much.
100 without loss at lunch on the first day. A perfect start 
D
Fence-sitter! Pick a side.
Uh, England Wins!
I don’t have the cricket lingo down, so that’s about all I can say.
Tom
TomB, re the lingo: judging from the way Martin is using the plural with England, I guess it should be “England Win!” Can that really be right?
Cynth: Yeah, right you are, I guess!!! 
Tom
It’s a bit like the royal ‘We’. (As in We are Henry the Eighth, We are.)
…I thought that was-
I thought that was a Herman’s Hermit song! :roll: 
Tom
We are Henery the Eighth we are,
Henery the Eighth we are, we are,
We got married to the widows next door,
They’d been married seven times before.
A linguist of my acquaintance has remarked upon the use of the plural in the case of a team name. All I can say is, it’s we when we win, and it’s them when they lose.
Yup, it’s right. And darned hard to get the hang of. I think it’s like that with businesses (the bank are sending me a debit card) and other groups (the family are coming for tea) as well.
“England wins” is particularly hard to get the hang of as it’s so rare we ever need to use the expression.
:roll:
More seriously, I think it’s because we are using a plural noun. England here is used to represent a team of 11 players, hence England is plural.
BUT:
England Expects Every Man to Do His Duty
Here England is a country. Singular.
Right. We’ll all bring some e-food and a bottle of virtual and have a bit of a picnic while we follow the match tomorrow. Steve, you can bring the Cornish Pasties and cream teas. Martin, you can let someone else have my share of the jellied eels. I’ll bring some Lincolnshire sausages (with a camping stove) and some nice stuffed chine. Do they have any regional delicacies in Reading?
I am actually having as non-virtual picnic on Friday, as I have a day off.
Avanutria and I will be taking a gentle bike ride along the Grand Union Canal, which runs from London to Birmingham for about 150 miles. A few years ago I cycled the whole thing in two days, but this time we’ll only do a couple of miles, before cracking out the champagne and oysters. Or Dry Blackthorn Cider and Melton Mowbray pork pies.
Cricket will definitely be listened to, hope I don’t drop in the canal celebrating all the runs England will be scoring.
OK. On Friday we’ll just have to settle for the company of a virtual Martin and a virtual Av.
I shall bring a virtual haggis supper, some arbroath smokies and a deep fried mars bar. I shall be dressed as a valkyrie.
All together now…
barmy army…barmy army…barmy army…barmy army…barmy army…barmy army…barmy army…
30 minutes to go. 
And holy chud! Glen McGrath is playing today!!!
They have the technology… they have rebuilt him. 
England won the toss and have elected to bat.