I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. The dog leash bit makes it really freaky. I’d say the dude needs major intervention.
ROTFLMAO!!! 
Gawd, I LOVE Northern Minnesota!
George Jones - Honkey Tonk Song
I saw those blue lights flashin’
Over my left shoulder
He walked right up and said,
“Get off that riding mower.”
I said sir, “Let me explain
Before you put me in the tank.”
She took my keys away
And now she won’t drive me to drink.
I need a honky tonk song a cold cold beer
A hardwood floor a smoky atmosphere
A pocket full of change to last me all night long
I gotta hear old Hank a moanin’ a honky tonk song.
— Instrumental —
He didn’t show me much compassion
When I tried to walk that line
As he put those handcuffs on me
I said, “give me one more try.”
He never even cracked a smile
When he threw me in the car
So I said, “Sir, if you don’t mind,
Oh, would you drop me off in a bar.”
I need a honky tonk song a cold cold beer
A hardwood floor a smoky atmosphere
A pocket full of change to last me all night long
I gotta hear old Hank a moanin’ a honky tonk song.
I gotta hear old Hank a moanin’ a honky tonk song…
‘round here, a ridin’ mowers always been the third option when you’re on a bender and you’ve just gotta get somewhere you’re not-
1- pickup/ car
2- horse/mule
3- riding mower
I am serious.
You forgot tractor.
That was one fine-lookin’ lawnmower, too. Dad’s gonna be none too pleased when he gets back from vacation and finds out the news.
He’ll probably have to borrow the neighbors’ mowers until he gets it back from impound. That would be a bit embarrassing, no?
I could see that. Makes perfect sense what with the practicality of it and all. This case, is, of course, culturally different, though. More urban, like. Riding-mowers just aren’t done in urban MN when you’re serious pixillated. If you want proper emergency transportation when you’ve got a little blood in your alcohol level you steal someone’s car instead. THAT’S not news.
Unless you’re in Florida, where this is the preferred choice:
If I’m reading that correctly, your statement appears bigoted. I think that’s hurtful.
Don’t laugh, Martin. The hazards posed by them are enormous.