Hi
Had to share this with you 
You in the UK just canât seem to understand how important guns are to our heritage and way of life here in the states.
Had he called me, I would have been over there with an AK-47. That would have got the little bugger going!
does Europe have lawnmowers?
How do they keep them running?
pretentiousness? that would be my guess.
It beats me. In my experience, thereâs only one language that machines understand, and itâs not English.
Case in point: Your TVâs on the fritz. Whatâs your first remedy? A slap upside the head, right? Build on that logic, and it all becomes clear.
We have very few issues with machine discipline here in the US.
âAnything not factory recommended would void the warranty,â 
I was hoping theyâd moved beyond sheep. Theyâre just so 1800s.
sorry Lamby
First Law of Applied Mechanics: If it donât work, hit it. Hit it hard! Hit it again, dern it! Comply with my wishes, I order you!
Second Law of Applied Mechanics: If it still donât work after applying the First Law of Applied Mechanics, shoot it. Shoot it good! Real good! Showâim whoâs boss. Blow that suckerâs head clean off. Kill it! Kill it!
Third Law of Applied Mechanics: Go have a beer. A nice, cold beer. Just sit back and relax. Try and settle down and get your bloodlust under control after that bout with the Second Law of Applied Mechanics. Chill, dude.
djm
Weâve had two murders in our village in the last three weeks, the first two in the 32 years Iâve lived there.
One was an estranged husband stabbing his wife the other a senile 80 year old whacking his wife over the head, no guns.
I was seeing the funny side of a ridiculous situation and wasnât trying to offend anybody or their heritage.
Thankfully we donât have a culture of gun ownership and long may that remain.
Why would anyone think he had been drinking? He looks like a pillar of society to me.
Regards,
Owen Morgan
Yacht Magic
Anchored in the lagoon, St Maarten
My new blog.
Click here for my latest reported position. (Use the satellite view.)
I do believe this man and Nick Nolte must patronize the same salon!
but Nick has better shirts
Do you like those flower print shirts?
are they not festive?
wouldnât wear one myself but I like it better than a white tee that looks like itâs on itâs third day.
Although I will admit that by the third day here it would no longer be white.
I feel the exact same way about my laundry iron.
A friend of mine grew up near a golf course in Texas, and he was a caddy when he was a teenager. The people he caddied for were, of course, rich Texans. So he was working for a guy who was playing in a foursome, evidently with a rather hefty wager put on the outcome. His charge evidently completely lost it on the back nine, and after the 18th hole he took out a pistol and shot his ball. Right there on the green.
This was Texas a long time ago, so it didnât raise any eyebrows to speak of.
Interesting. However, it seems that some current-day Texans are no different, just doing the same old thing on a much grander scale.
Yurp? No clue, here. But we know that at least Ireland has some rakes, anyway. Check out the trad tune titles.
OK, the guy lost his cool and shot his lawn mower in the back yard with a sawed-off shot gun. Whatâs the big deal? He discharged a gun in the city limits, and he had an illegal gun in his possession. Do these minor crimes warrant an $11,000 fine and six years in prison? I donât think so. Iâd give him a couple days in jail to cool off, a $500 fine, which most likely is no small amount for this man, and confiscation of the illegal shotgun, nothing more, except, perhaps, for some counselling.
I remember my grandfather using a shotgun to shoot hordes of blackbirds that were roosting in the trees in his front yard in the city. The little lead pellets were raining down on the neighboring houses.
Everyone was doing it. When I was a kid, I shot my fatherâs 12 gauge shotgun in the back yard of our house. I was pointing it towards the cornfield, but the next door neighbors didnât know that.
As an aside, my wife, who takes police reports for the city, told me about a funny crime report that she took yesterday. A man called in to report that a woman had stolen $500 from his wallet and a bottle of pain pills from his bathroom vanity cabinet. The man had met the woman at a bar and had invited her to his house to talk. After having to use the bathroom the woman left shortly thereafter, the man reported. My wife asked the man if he knew the womanâs name, and the man replied, âDaisy Dukeâ.
He went on to say, âof course thatâs not her real name; thatâs her working name.â
I bet it was a Sears mover. Those suckers start falling apart the day you buy 'em. After you assemble them, of course.