Jessie, my heart and thoughts go out to the whole family.
L
Jessie, you and your family have my kindest thoughts and warmest wishes.
–James
Thank you.
The hardest thing for me now is that, since it’s all over, I am reflecting on my lack of understanding of my mother’s experience of this (the drawn-out illness), and I feel so terrible. I have been apologizing to my mom, but she doesn’t want to let me off the hook. She agrees with me that I wasn’t as I should have been. She says she hopes I treat her better when she is dying than I treated her mother (I basically ignored her mother once she forgot everything and everyone). I have approached this whole thing with logic and have neglected to give my mom the support she needed (it’s a good thing she has my dad!), and now she doesn’t even want to talk or hear about it. I want to resolve it and yet there is nothing I can do right now. My mom does want to be alive, though (as opposed to just exist), and she is coming over tomorrrow to see Joey (who has started talking!) and stay over. My dad is coming on Thursday (they’ll both be able to be here and they won’t need a babysitter for Esther, because she’s gone). I am hoping to make it a good visit for my mom. I tend to let her do housework when she’s here. Not this time. This time I will make her a bubble bath and bring her chocolate (leftovers that I am not eating because of my diet).
Other people have expressed themselves much better on this sad subject than I can. I just have the mute belief that you are on a courageous path that will bring joy and fulfillment to you and the ones you love. All my best.
Cara
My condolences to you, and your mom Jessie. I hope that you have a wonderful visit with your mom and I think that being with you and little Joey is the best thing to help her through this.
Best wishes,
Kathy
My condolences to you and your family–Alzheimer’s is a merciless disease.
Sometimes life’s greatest lessons hurt… I think the very fact that you feel this now means that you are already on that road… hugs and comfort to you and to your mother. May your grandmother’s soul find peace.