Do not go outside and put tongue on anything metal today.
(posted as a public service announcement; not intended to be taken as medical advice, although I believe it is sound from that perspective as well)
It’s hard to believe how much Dostoyevsky wrote about licking an axe (in cold weather, in Russia).
Try reading The Brothers Karamazov, if you don’t believe me. No, really, don’t bother reading it. 
Spoiler below:
Russian peasant girl: “Hey Ivan, lick this axe and I’ll give you a kiss!” …and on… and on…
Even harder to do it while juggling axes, throws off the rhythm.
And yet there’s always somebody: http://www.krem.com/news/local/Scene-right-out-of-A-Christmas-Story-girls-tongue-freeze-to-a-pole-78737017.html
They say she’s 13 - with all that eye makeup and dyed hair she looks like an 18-year-old who would be soliciting.
That’s what 13 year-old girls look like. Oh, to be that girl’s parent for a moment:
“NOW do you realise you don’t know everything?” 