i get really freakin’ nervous when i’m not playing…
We all vary a bit in perception and physical responses. I grew up performing in small acoustic venues (coffee houses, sandwich shops, churches); gradually moving to clubs, larger stages and outdoor events with big sound systems. I found being on stage, under lights to actually be far less intimidating - acting as a buffer between me and the audience. But make no mistake - I am a ham and a performer. 
As to any kind of imbibing of mood altering substances, I discovered that they affected my reaction times and perception… as was illuminated by the constant live recordings made to review my performances. So I may enjoy my scotch and bounce around some melodies when it’s just for fun or personal enjoyment - but never when giving performance. Others may feel differently… like Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin or Jimi Hendrix. 
they might…
be hard to argue that they were right though 
@ G1
It’s difficult to say play and serious in the same sentence. Yet, I take my practice seriously, and when I perform, I play.
LIke you, G1, I’ve long ago discovered that drugs and alcohol can all too easily undo serious practice, and so I avoid them.*
Music gives me much more of a “lift” than any other intoxicant could, as music indeed could be an intoxicant.
Years ago, OK, decades ago, Anita Bryant became famous for the advertisement, “A day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine.”
Well, substitute music for orange juice, and I’d be glad to be quoted for saying just that!
- Edited to add, that I like a pint or two of beer, but not before playing.
I think fighting your own fears is the only solution, even though it’s very tough for some people.
Nerves can be managed, with time or practice, I think sometimes it doesn’t have to do with being confident with your repertoire, but being confident and secure with yourself.
Closing your eyes and concentrating it’s a pretty good technique though..
didn’t work for Elvis
I just ordered my first Irish Flute (Tipple), so I don’t have experience on this level, but I play the transverse (modern-boehm) flute and I like to think of me as an intermediate player. I’m not a master (far from it), but I play very well. I play in church with my dad’s group. I had to step asside from the group for almost a year for personal reasons, including a hand injury. I rejoined the group right before the Holidays. Everything went ok mass after mass… until the Christmas Eve mass. It was going pretty well until “Noël à Jérusalem” (Christmas in Jerusalem). My fingers felt frozen, my breathing was shorter, and my lips were shaking incontrollably, affecting my sound. Luckily, I had a 16 bar break near the end. I put my flute asside and started breathing deeply, but slowly, I took my flute and continued. The rest of the mass went smoothly.
My point is. It doesn’t matter wether you’re a beginner or experienced. Nervousness can get you. Like Doug mentionned, it all depends on your natural nature. I’m a bit nervous by nature, myself. It also depends on your public experience. The more you play in public, the more you learn to deal with your nerves and learn to control them.
Finally, a lot of the times that you feel your nerves affecting your sound, only other fluters will notice
For the audience/listener, music is an experience. To attempt to further illuminate your statement, I experienced a phenomenon several times over the years that never failed to amuse and perplex me.
There were nights that we (the band) gave virtually flawless performances with spot on timing and showmanship, yet failed to emotionally impact our audience - this was not the surprise - it happens. However, there were other nights that we made mistakes* left and right, yet our listeners were enthralled and full of praise for how ‘wonderful’ the performance was. I’m sure a fellow musician would have ripped us a new one. I think most of us are more critical of our playing than the typical listener would be on an average night.
Oh! - and:
*Do you know what the difference between an amateur musician and a professional is (besides getting paid)?
…Amateurs make mistakes; professionals make innovations.
Happy Tootin’!
drives ya feckin’ crazy, dunnit!
I just quit listenin’ to 'em
I used to get nervous in sessions. Now that my playing is strong, I only get nervous if my teacher is listening. 
As others have said, nerves are just a normal part of stage performance for many musicians. You should have seen the high-strung conservatory crowd! It seems very individual, and is not related to playing ability. I’ve known excellent musicians who had no stage fright, and some so severe they went backstage to vomit before the performance.
I don’t tend to get nervous at session because everyone there is a friend more or less. I actually feel safe to try new things at session because it is a fun, safe environment. I’ve been to session, however, that were clearly competitive events with scorn raining down on mere mortals that dared to play. I also don’t get nervous when my band is playing one of our regular gigs. These are usually in noisy pubs full of well lubricated people who seem to respond more to the vibe and energy we give off than the particulars of the music…sometimes we connect and sometimes we don’t. There was this one time at the pub, however… I was playing along with my eyes closed (which I tend to do) and suddenly I heard an amazing flute playing along right next to me. My eyes flew open and I looked to my right and there was Kevin Crawford! Lunasa had just played a couple of concerts in Hawaii and Kevin showed up at our Waikiki pub and sat in with us while waiting for his mates to arrive. Of course my playing immediately went to hell. At the end of the set Kevin appologized for startling me and was generally so gracious that I was able to play again…but talk about nerves! The band also plays at a venue each month plus a couple of concerts a year where people come not to drink and raise hell, but to just listen to the music. That is nerve wracking for me!
Clark
That’s some serious stuff… And a flute won’t smell good at all after that !!
A-freakin’-MEN! to that, eh?!
I usually have one “calmer” then go to mega sip-mode. I loose the lips somewhere between the end of number 2 and the middle of number 3.
TOTALLY useless thereafter.
I’ve been lucky enough to play with a session of very nice people, some old timers and a good many newbies. It’s normal for the newbies (like me) to freeze up. It’s just part of the deal. I remember one of my first times when I kinda screwed up the B part but caught back up. I felt embarrassed until another newbie really locked up with nerves much worse. I found myself willing the notes out of his whistle. There was no judgment, just an understanding since I was just there a few minutes before.
I realized then that probably the majority of the players are the same towards the newbies. It’s just a wonderful thing to watch someone pick up the art and persevere through the learning stages. A few missed notes…what’s the big deal?
On alcohol: One Guinness and I’m good to go. Two and I get sloppy.
I have unfortunately been to more of that kind of session than I care to relate. It’s really put me off going at all, even if there were a regular session where I live (In the back end of nowhere…) But if you can find a really good session there’s no reason for the nerves. Everyone is there to have a good time and to join in the spirit of the music. And remember, even Matt Molloy was a beginner at one time!
As far as stage gigs, I’ve rarely gotten nervous before those. Wedding gigs are the best. Think of yourself as the wallpaper to an event where most people are just there to eat, drink and be merry and celebrate a new couple’s life together.
Caitlin
The opposite number of nervousness is confidence, so we can talk about boosting confidence as a means to the same end, with a decidedly ‘positivist’ slant!
Many suggestions have been given here about various things to do: breathe deep, close your eyes, quaff a quick pint. All of these may have merit, but I’m not sure how any one or combination specifically addresses nerves; breathing deep may just make you dizzy as well as nervous, closing the eyes might disorient someone who’s not used to playing like that, and a non-drinker trying to play buzzed might be nerve-wracking just to listen to. Returning to confidence, the flip-side of the coin, I try to stress one thing in particular to my students whenever this topic comes up: consistency. I feel like having a routine to follow when setting up to play can give more comfort in a stressful situation than just about anything else.
I like to watch how fluthers get into their initial ‘crouch,’ both beginners and experienced players. Watch an old hand over the course of an evening, and you’re likely to see him go through the same little routine every time the flute goes to the lips. I’m thinking now of a particular gent who plays around Doolin, name withheld. This man puts the flute to his lower lip before forming up his embouchure, and in the process of forming up he sends his tongue out and over the embouchure hole several times, maybe four in quick succession. I’d wager it’s well-nigh unconsciously done at this point, but it’s the routine, every time. Other players have different sequences, but it seems that each has a way of setting up that preceded the first note, every time.
What’s going on here? Whether consciously or no, the best players have developed a way to quickly position the lower lip relative to the embouchure hole, form up the embouchure, and get on target for their best tone, starting with note one.
The less variation there is in the routine, the less chance of a bad set and the resulting performance problems. I’d say that a bad initial setup leads to many of the problems a less-experienced player will encounter when under stress. Any inconsistencies, uncertainties, or deficiencies are going to be much more likely to cause problems in the pressure-cooker of a session than at home in comfort. The key, I think, is to work during practice to develop consistency, so that when the critical moment comes the player will be, at the very least, properly set up to do their best under difficult circumstances. Nothing helps confidence like thorough preparation, and feeling like you have a firm grip on the task at hand. Suggestions for improving consistency:
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Know Your Flute - All the flutes I ever played came in sections, and how these are aligned is critical to consistency. Find what works, then memorize it or make marks (Wite-Out is a non-permanent option). I start with the center section, speaking now mostly of flutes with independent sections for each hand, then align the head for maximum flexibility. You should have a clear idea of how rolled in/out you need your embouchure hole to be, and make sure the flute goes together this way every time. This can really make the difference!
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Posture - Do you sit the same way every time? Legs crossed/uncrossed? Back in the chair, or on the edge? This may or may not contribute to alignment issues, but there certainly are confident postures one can strike that help with feeling grounded and assist in tone production.
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Address The Flute - Dear Flute: never mind that! By address, I mean how you present the flute to your lips. This should be done the same way every time. I like the classical idea of a Concert Rest position, with the flute across the lap when not in use. When it’s time to play, lift the flute from your lap in a slow, smooth motion (helps the arm muscles stay relaxed - no kidding) and bring it to your lips. Align the embouchure hole in the roll in/roll out and slide up/down axes the same way every time. Form your embouchure the same way every time. Practice the whole routine by going from concert rest to blowing your best low D as your first note; keep repeating the sequence until you can nail your best tone with your first issue of air.
I left out how the hands sit on the flute, but add that to the pile of consistency concerns. Meanwhile, do the Concert Rest to Playing Position exercise 20-30 times in a row, and see if you don’t get better at getting set up correctly to play your best from the first note. Won’t that be a confidence builder? Cheers,
Rob
That’s an awesome story! What are the odds that Kevin Crawford would show up out of nowhere and start playing along with you in the session? Must have been freakin unreal!
Would that ever happen to me, I’d probaby put the flute down and focus on the
whisky 
Playing for people effects our emotions, which is why we do it. The trick is to channel that energy to be helpful not hurtful. I think that is where starting with confidence is key, then the energy will magnify the positive aspects. If we start playing with doubt then the energy from others will magnify the negative aspects.
When I’m playing, I’m sharing a little bit of myself with others. I’m not holding myself out as a perfect musician, I’m some dude with a flute and a pint having a bit of fun. If I don’t expect perfection so they they don’t either and we all have fun. If I get bothered then they feel embarrassed for me too, as we are sharing the moment. I have to remember that my portrayal of me is perfect, and so is your portrayal of you.
It is important to keep the rhythm of a tune regardless of what notes you play. Stuff up a note and nobody notices except your mates you play with you all the time anyway. Stuff up the rhythm and pretty much everyone can tell. That doesn’t mean they care, it’s just more noticeable. So when you are practicing tunes after learning them so you can play them through, carry on with the rhythm if you possibly can. Whatever you do don’t develop the habit of stopping when we make a mistake. Then when you play for people you can do the same thing. If you bobble a note on the first rep even if anyone noticed they will forget about it by the second. Just don’t stop if you can help it.
There’s another aspect of all this that has to do with the two minds. If I am in an unfamiliar situation, even one so simple as someone stopping by the house and spying the flute and asking to hear it, it is hard (but getting easier) for me to pay attention to my playing. Or maybe I should say not pay attention to whatever else is going on. Or maybe I mean to pay attention to both things at the same time.
Direct eye contact is communication, and as such takes part of our brain power or focus. It takes practice to be able to hold both the tune in your mind (and let your fingers and lips play it) while you hold the other person(s) in your mind as well and not lose the thread of the conversation that got you playing. To me it feels like patting your head while rubbing your stomach. And the only way to get better at doing it is to do it. And I find that just any old distraction won’t do. Reading e-mails, looking out the window, watching TV are all good distractions to practice with but when that new person is standing there in front of me it’s different and easier to lose the tune. I think because I naturally want to give them all of my attention.
So I would say play for everyone you can. Play for the cat. Play for the mail carrier as they pass by. Work on having a conversation with your eyes while you play a tune. At least that’s what I’m doing.
I’ve been playing at fluting in various genres in front of people for about 30 years now, and I still get nervous at the weirdest times. One day, about an hour after calmly doing a morning TV show I found myself terrified playing for an audience of 8-year-olds. And I’m guaranteed to get nervous when I’m around a better player – I’ve been utterly catatonic next to the best of them.
I’ll never forget the time we were having tunes in the Ice House at Augusta and the next thing I know, there’s Joanie Madden and we’re playing the Bucks of Oranmore face to face in front of a whole lot of people and I’m trying desperately not to scream, fall over, or throw up on her. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster I didn’t do any of the above and that it was really loud in there so hopefully she couldn’t hear me. I still remember just staring stupidly at her fingers (as they were about a foot away this was not hard) and being vaguely shocked that they seemed to be doing many of the same things mine were – though hers didn’t look like they were moving that fast, while mine felt ready to fly off!
ANYWAY … The best advice I’ve gotten over the years is to work up a “party piece” and get it 100% solid. Doesn’t matter how simple or complicated the tune, just be able to play it nicely with no weak spots anywhere, not even the least little bit, because those WILL be your donnybrook in public. Even if you magically make it through them the first round, you’ll be so shocked and amazed you’ll wipe out the next time, plus somewhere else entirely for good measure.
From there, just play your party piece out and about until you can play it solidly in public too. Be considerate and don’t subject people to five rounds of it, especially if it’s a tune they don’t know or don’t much care for, but there’s no reason why most sessions shouldn’t grant someone 3 minutes to play their one wee piece, especially if that person asks nicely.
Then, get another party piece going at home and trot it out when ready. Lather, rinse, and repeat for a lifetime.
The other great piece of advice I’ve gotten came from a horse trainer years ago. Basically, it’s to explore screwing up. I don’t mean practice wrong and ingrain mistakes; I just mean use your mistakes to work on ways to recover from them. When attempting to pilot an 1100-pound animal over various obstacles at 10-15 mph, it’s good to have an idea of what can go wrong, and how to get out of it alive.
Thank heavens playing the flute doesn’t generally involve risking life and limb. Then we WOULD have real reason to be nervous!
Good luck, and remember: the major moments in our own lives are not nearly as memorable to anyone else. I’m willing to bet Joanie doesn’t remember me, no matter how good or bad I was that night.
I saw her Sunday night, Cat, and she didn’t mention you…
'course, I forgot to ask. I was too nervous.
Rob, Cathy, Casey, you’ve all given such great encouragement. I think that showing up at a session and having someone like you folks there, we’d all put our fears to rest. I am ever grateful for the gentle souls who’ve made me feel welcome as a musician.
But if you put a microphone in front of me, all the advice and love in the world dissolves into sweat and panic. I just played for a folk festival in Fairbanks last weekend, and I’m sure I’ve never played as fast or as scared. Got through it, though.
Jennie