Maybe I’ve mentioned this, but my favorite useless invention appeared in a catalog of baby/early childhood items. It was a battery operated electronic diaper checker. You’d wave the thing over the vicinity of the questionable diaper, and its read-out, or beep-out, would indicated whether the dipe was wet or not.
I imagined the following conversation:
Muffy: Biff? The baby is fussy. Can you please check his didey?
Biff: Sure thing Muffy. Where’s the diaper-checker?
Muffy: I think I left it upstairs on the changing table.
Ok, maybe you don’t get the absurdity of this if you’ve never changed dipes, but in general–especially with the disposable variety–one only need palpate from the exterior to assess the relative gelatinous gushiness.
A decade or so ago at work, we had a piece of precision equipment that needed to be moved a little bit. A big piece of precision equipment. There was a summer student with us who couldn’t believe that we were using a hammer to do fine adjustment. He looked at the handle, and damned if it didn’t have “FINE ADJUST” burned into it, which none of us had noticed before.