This guy takes his very pregnant wife to the doctor.
She’s laying on the examining table and screaming at the top of her lungs, “Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Shouldn’t! Wasn’t! Won’t! Can’t! Didn’t!”
The doctor turns to the guy and says, “Your wife is having contractions.”
Contradictions as well, by the sound of it.
I think you and I share a brain.
Which one of you has it today?
contractions
which reminds me of my favorite grammar joke–
have you heard of conjugated nouns?
I steal the keel
I stole the coal
I have stolen the colon
With the delays in air travel it’s possible neither. UPS or FedEX?
If her name is Anja, she’d better watch out for the [u]Troll[/u] and his Contradiction Stick.
I’m claiming a share there as well.
Slan,
D. 
Personally, I don’t like to think about labor that much… 
It’s not really a party here in the States.
One might hope that with that much practice you’d have developed a fair amount of technique my now. 
Oh, I have the technique down pat. But I’d still rather not think about the technique. Or the process. Or anything that has to do with either of those things. Ever.
Yeah. Sort of like Civil War reenactments. Whywoulddja? 
My wife had a very organized labor.
and after it was over, we broke out the fireworks and started a labor party.