Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in
his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: “Free
to good home. You want it, you take it.”
For three days the fridge sat there without
even one person looking twice at it. He eventually
decided that people were too un-trusting of this
deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed
the sign to read: “Fridge for sale: $50.”
The next day someone stole it.
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
It’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets
trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
While looking at a house, my brother asked
the real estate agent which direction was North
because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking
him up every morning.
She asked, “Does the sun rise in the North?”
When my brother explained that the sun rises
in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her
head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.”
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7
call center. One day I got a call from an
individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told
her, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
7 days a week.”
She responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?”
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said,
“Uh…Pacific.”
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in
our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the
administrative assistants talking about the sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove
down in a convertible, but “didn’t think she’d get
sunburned because the car was moving”.
I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport
baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office
and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because
she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.
“Now,” she asked me, “has your plane arrived yet?”
OK, that is the best that I can come up with for an overcast March day. I apologize that all of the jokes were written by men. I forgot to mention that all of the people referred to above are voters. That gives me little assurance of the strength of our democracy.