Joke

Poststructural Pub
1

There were two nuns…
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It’s not working.

SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.


And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, Say two Hail Marys!

2

I tried to Hail Mary twice before…she never returned my calls :smiley:

3

Oh, that’s funny! :laughing:

4

Oh, what a terrible web of logic you weave, Chuck. You caught me.

5

Good joke but …

… The funniest part is the Google’s banner ads:

“Catholic Nuns” …the Sisters of the Saint …
“Catholic Nuns” … meet tens of 1000’s of Catholic singles …
“Holy Habits Paper Dolls”
“Nuns Having Fun 2005” … pre-order your calendar today …

:slight_smile:

~Judy

6

Sister Logical was very lucky it wasn’t a Scotsman wearing a kilt :smiley:

MarkB

7

The Mother Superior, on learning of the Sisters Logical and Mathematical’s ordeal, took pity on them and ordered that they take a vacation to a delightful cloistered resort in Transylvania.

A week later saw Sister Logical and Sister Mathematical driving a rental along the dark and winding roads of Transylvania, hopelessly lost. Despairing, Sister Mathematical (who was at the wheel), pulled up at the side of the road while Sister Logical consulted a roadmap.

Suddenly, with a loud thump, the car lurched on its springs, and there crouched on the bonnet was Dracula himself, hissing and baring his fangs at the two nuns.

“Mercy!” Sister Mathematical declared, “It’s Dracula! What are we going to do?”

“The logical thing of course,” replied Sister Logical, calmly. “Show him your cross, and he’ll flee.”

“Oh right,” Sister Mathematical, somewhat unconvinced. Winding down her window she leaned out and screamed: “Oy! Get the f*** off my bonnet you **damn mutha&^%$ blood-sucking squinty-eyed sunnuva&^$£%!!!”

Stunned, Dracula flapped away into the darkness.

“Goodness,” Sister Mathematical breathed, feeling rather faint. “Sometimes you amaze me, Sister Logical. How did you know he’d respond to my being cross?”

“I meant show him your crucifix, Sister.” Came the stunned reply.

8

And now an oldie but goody from my misspent youth…

A young postulate praying in her room was able to hear workmen outside building the new convent addition. The young girl was stunned by their crude language. She went to the Mother Superior to ask if something could be done.

Her superior said, "now, now, Sister, you must understand and make allowances that these are rough working men who calll a spade a spade.

The young sister replied; “No they don’t, Mother Superior. They call it a *&@^)(^% shovel.”

9

The regulars at the Old Pig And Whistle were stunned into silence when the door of the public bar swung open on a Saturday and in walked two nuns, Sister Logical and Sister Mathematical.

Jaws sagged even further when the two nuns strode to the bar, and Sister Mathematical’s calm and assertive voice was heard ordering 8 double whiskies.

Dumb with astonishment and amazement that bordered on stupefication, the barman shakily poured 8 double whiskies, and set them before the two nuns. Then all watched agog as the pair downed four each in quick succession.

“Same again.” wheezed Sister Mathematical.

Again, the barman poured the 8 doubles, and again the nuns quaffed four apiece.

When Sister Mathematical hiccupped and ordered 8 more, the barman recovered enough of his senses to enquire:

“Excuse me, Sisters, but… is this some kind of religious ceremony or something?”

“No,” Replied Sister Logical, swaying rather alarmingly. “It’s a mission of mercy.”

“Really?” The barman asked, astonished.

“Yesh, really. And itsh logical.” Replied Sister Logical, grinning broadly. “The Mother Shuperior has conshtipation. And when she sees the shtate us two are in, she’s gonna sh*t hershelf…”

10

3 nuns die in an accident, 2 novices and 1 senior.
St Peter says “Before you can enter Heaven, you must answer a question correctly,
and because you two are novices, yours’ll be easy”
1st novice question " Who was Jesus’s earthly dad?"
“Joseph” the novice replied; “Right - in yer go” says St Peter.
2nd novice question " Who was Jesus’s mom?"
“Mary” the novice replied; “Right - in yer go” says St Peter.
Senior nun question
“What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?”
“Hmmm! That’s a hard one!” ; “Yep -in yer go” :smiling_imp: