Started on a new ward, I’ll be on this ward for only this week, there’s this nice -girl-woman-lady-female-(trying to be politically correct, so take your pick) that works on the ward.
I’d like to get to know her better.
Should I:
ask her straight out for a drink? (I’m actually too chickenshit to do that)
write her a note and see to it she gets it next monday? (which is actually my plan).
Further suggestions are welcome.
Do you know if she’s unattached?
If it were me, I’d prefer the direct approach. I’m never quite sure how to respond to a note, especially if there are circumstances (such as the fact that I’m already attached) which could be more gently delivered in person.
But that’s just me. I haven’t dated in more than 25 years, and even then it was more a matter of going out with a guy who was as much a friend as anything else, so I’ve no experience with being asked out by people who are essentially strangers to me.
Redwolf
A note like this one?
Dear Roxanne, how is it going?
Do you want to have a drink sometime?
If you do, check this box:
The quote is from the movie Roxanne, starring Steve Martin.
I’m the chickens**t type as well, but you just gotta get over yourself.
If you don’t ask her out, you’ll regret it (especially if someone else beats you to it) and if you do, and find out she’s attached, or at worst, just not interested, you’ve really lost nothing - except now she knows you’re interested. However, occasionally this can work in your favor, as this could be just the seed necessary to get her to look in your direction.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
(All this coming from one who hasn’t asked a woman/girl/female out for more than 15 years as well)
Don’t send a note. It’s way too pre-pubescent.
take it or leave it,
Chris
amar, you haven’t got a hope with yer note and your dribbling doctors writing 
pull out yer low D when she’s having a break, and if she likes it, ask her if she plays anything.
Why not get talking and see if it goes well? You might also find out if she’s otherwise attached.
Failing that, why not ask her, but on the last day you work there to save embarrassment if she says no (or yes, for that matter. 
)
Do you have the same lunch hour? Talk to her over lunch at work, then you have a time limit so if something goes sour you can say “sorry, have to get back to work.” Find out if she’s available. She may be married, or living with someone, or just not interested in men.
Why would such a good-looking guy as yourself be chicken****? You’re cute. If I was 30 years younger and single, (and in the same country) I’d be interested.
Hope it works out for you.
I would go the route of asking her in person whether she would like to go out for cocktails and take it from there.
I have always been of the opinion that the direct and honest approach is best, and shows a certain amount of respect… so, “man-up” buckko and ask her out. 
Having said that, I freely admit that my wife was the one who stalked me inexhaustably until I finally noticed (keen observer though I am 
) and fell for her womanly charms.
There is no right way. It’s a wonder the species
evolved.
hmmm, I’ll see if I can find the guts and ask her on Friday.
I agree with those who say you should try to talk to this person a bit first (if you haven’t already). See if it feels right. If so, then just ask. Maybe not for drinks since not everyone indulges. You might ask about going for coffee and snacks. Good luck-- you seem like a good man, and will do just fine.
Don’t be a wuss. Women appreciate a man who is forthright, honest, and open about what he wants. Find a spare bed in the new ward, grab her by the hair, and drag her kicking and screaming. Have your way with her.
Hmmm, on second thought …
djm
Just be yourself, Amar…
not sure about that..
why thank you for the compliment! . 
Dude, I speak from personal experience. Women respond to confidence (as opposed to arrogance). A note does not give off the aura of confidence.
I used to be painfully shy. I forced myself to get over it.
The cheesy pickup line sometimes works if she thinks it’s funny, but the odds are, she’ll just think it’s cheesy, so go with the sane approach. Go up to her, and just talk to her…don’t worry about asking her out. Just talk about something mundane, like the traffic or something. Keep it light–for instance, don’t start bitching about how they need to fix the goddamn turn signals at the interchange or whatever. Unless she’s in a hurry, upset, or just doesn’t like you, you should find some common ground to talk about…you can then practice a little “sharing”. I know this is hard for guys. Tell her a little about what you like to do, what kind of neat things there are to do around where you live, etc. Listen to her when she talks about the things she likes, and show you’re paying attention by asking questions or using what she’s said to further the conversation.
You might find out that she’s not that interesting, or she’s married, or she doesn’t seem to like you. But, barring all of that, if she seems nice, and seems kind of receptive, then you can ask her out. Or maybe wait until you’ve talked to her a couple more times. Once you’ve gotten relaxed in the conversation, it’ll be a lot easier. Trust me. For instance, once you’ve talked about the kinds of movies you both like, it’s a lot easier to say something like “hey, the new Harry Potter’s opening soon…think you might want to go see it with me? My treat..” (by now, you should know if she likes harry potter or not..heh )
Then again, I picked up a couple of women last St. Paddy’s Day by walking straight up to them carrying a couple of glasses and asking “Hey..do either one of you ladies like vodka?”
Okay, first you have to lose the glasses.
Second, I would say, as I think someone else did, how about asking her if she’d like to have a coffee together sometime. It is okay to act nervous. That shows that you are not assuming you are God’s gift to women, which is a real turn-off in my opinion. Coffee is a very casual thing—you could suggest somewhere by the hospital where you could walk. Coffee is no big deal. It is not threatening. It is a pleasant baby step. It is just a chance to maybe have a nice chat. Don’t turn it into a bigger deal than it is. Drinks and bars and dim lighting just seem a little more forward to me.
I would not send a note myself.
If she cannot go out with you, she will tell you so in a nice way. It does not mean there is something wrong with you----we would know by now if that was the problem. It is her situation. I understand that it feels nervewracking, but just try to keep in mind that she is not saying you are an idiot, she is just saying that she can’t, for whatever reason, join you for coffee.
She might be wanting you to ask her out. Did you ever think of that?
thanks y’all for the good advice.
By the way, I wear contact lenses. And I’m the last man on earth that thinks he’s a God-given gift for the ladies.
have to say I’m against the “note” thing, too.
Just talk to her. If things seem to be at least somewhat pleasant, you can bring up getting together.
However…
Do NOT take it as an insult if she says no. When I WAS single, I had a rule that I would NOT date anyone I worked with. The one time I “violated” that rule, it turned out horribly, because I still had to work with that person afterwards, and since there was a reason I didn’t continue the relationship (he was an A@@, basically), it was VERY uncomfortable.
But I wanted to warn you that a lot of people have that unspoken rule and may not be willing to break it. No reflection on you at all.
Oh I’d never be insulted if she’d say no. That’s just part of life. 