“It softly cooks the boullion of the pain…”
“And how would you like that cooked Ma’am?”
“Black. And painful.”
My pain is cooked. Call the President! 
djm
“It softly cooks the boullion of teh pain!”
“It rubs the lotion into it’s skin…”…
You’re a sick puppy Tyler!
When I read that line, Buffalo Bill was the first thing that popped into my head… 
I’m sick, all right, and loving every moment of it! 
Damn. I have to go to Japan and buy clothes, now.
I’m a no-labels sort of guy (Hilfiger? Old Navy? I think NOT), but in the case of Famous Crap, I’d make a big exception.
I once bought a t-shirt from the local po-dunk mall in the po-dunk town nearest to the po-dunk village where I lived in Japan (Sun Valley Mall, Kumozu-cho, Mie Prefecture). The shirt was blue and white, sort of like a baseball jersey and was emblazoned with the following slogan in macho, athletic department looking print:
MASTURBATE
Emphasis: Be fastidious!
You know, it actually looks pretty chic, but I’m worried people might take me for a bit of a wanker if I wore it in public.
Also just remembered the time that I saw Belle & Sebastian do a concert in Nagoya. Lead singer Stuart Murdoch strode out on stage wearing a t-shirt that said something like “Special Olympics #17” on it. He said that since first coming to Japan, he had fallen in love with the strange English on the t-shirts and had taken to buying all of his t-shirts in Amerika-mura in Osaka. “Of course, it’s quite expensive to be buying a year’s supply of t-shirts in Japan, but I don’t really care ‘cause I’m f***in’ rich,” he quipped.