I got this ad in the mail today. This is the attention getter on the side of the mailer.
I don’t know why I find this funny. I keep thinking about someone who’s not been in the country very long and whose English is not so hot and he gets in the mail and he’s, like, “Wha?” Because I’m a native speaker of English and I’m, like, “Wha?”
But, it will never beat the time I was in a store and there was a box of those plastic rings that one uses to hang a shower curtain from a rod and the package was black and in a very elegant script font, in gold, was the label
Shower Hooks of Distinction
Feel free to use that for the name your next band.
However, at first I thought about how less than popular books could be remaindered, and so perhaps remerchandising (dang, my spellchecker just went off) could refer to selling something that somebody had already tried to sell previously, but when relinquishment gets added in, the picture then changes to something being given away that had already twice been put up for sale, or, in other words, something being offered for free.
The problem for me is entirely one of emphasis. I mean, it could be “remerchandising relinquishment”, as in, “We are, voluntarily or involuntarily, giving up on remarketing our stuff. We’re tired. Here. You can have it if you send us money, but don’t worry: it’s a bargain.”, or “remerchandising relinquishment”, as in, “We are remarketing stuff we had to hand over to someone else, and probably due to a court order. Here. You can have it - if you can get it - if you send us money, but don’t worry: it’s a bargain. Trust us.”
Or, it’s just a fancy way of saying “This is someone else’s stuff they had to give up - probably due to a court order, and we got it all - and we’re offering it to YOU. But don’t worry; it’s a bargain.”
IIRC, one of those Enron guys (or some such executive) supposedly had a $6,000.00 shower curtain. I’m certain that a shower curtain like that would come with hooks of distinction.
I have used a temporary toilet structure which was that relatively-pleasant, but darned if I can remember where.
As for the “remerchandizing relinquishment,”…I’m picturing a business making a final stab at survival, a major restock financed by a guy named Porky, and an expectation of quick cash repayment. Something didn’t quite work as planned, and your sale is being staged, expeditiously, before Beppo and Junior get involved. I bet you could get a deal.
Did you all get that postcard in the mail this week for T-shirts, ball caps, and sweatshirts for “Your Last Name” University? We wanted to get those for all the kids my wife babysat over the years. They would find humor in that.
