Actually, this is serious. I have friends who have just returned from a holiday in San Francisco. They were there at the same time as Nicky and I were in Cyprus. We bought them a bottle of Cyprus brandy and a bottle of the sort of concentrated lemon squash that you canât get in the UK, the two ingredients (in addition to soda water) that you need to make the national beverage of Cyprus, the Brandy Sour. They bought us the usual US tee-shirts with California emblazoned across the front (not bad this time, actually - much better than the awful grey âOrlandoâ ones they bought us on their last visit!) and, wait for it, two bars of what presumably passes over your end for âchocolate.â The brand is Ghirardelli and the two âflavoursâ (a word I use advisedly) were milk chocolate and milk chocolate with caramel. We had the misfortune to eat half a bar each of the latter earlier on this evening. Well, we both feel ill. How can so much sugar be concentrated into such compact bars!! And where was the actual chocolate! It did, I admit, smell vaguely like chocolate upon peeling back the wrapper, but such hopes rapidly evaporated as soon as a morsel was inserted into the mouth. Now there was nought but sugar and plenty of it. It was the sugariest sugary thing to pass my lips since the sweet prince of the Kingdom of Syrup and Sugar and his wife Princess Honeypie declared that the world shall be to the exclusion of all other considerations an exceptionally sugary place.
I really must ask several things. Do any of you actually eat this stuff? If you do, is it because youâve done something wrong and are being punished? Is this stuff heavily promoted by the dental profession in order to drum up business? Can you buy actual real chocolate your end? I fear for you all. I know how important the aquisition of chocolate and its subsequent consumption is to many Merkins (as indeed it is to me too!). But if this stuff is the epitome, the alpha-to-omega, the dogâs danglies, then all Iâve got to say to you is no wonder you like invading foreign countries. Youâre clearly after their bloody chocolate!
It was the sugariest sugary thing to pass my lips since the sweet prince of the Kingdom of Syrup and Sugar and his wife Princess Honeypie declared that the world shall be to the exclusion of all other considerations an exceptionally sugary place.
Oh, dear! Milk chocolate here is very sugary. Milk chocolate with caramel is even MORE sugary.
As djm said, you have to go for the dark, or >70% cocoa, kind.
But, yes, that being said, we DO like it sugary! Just be glad he didnât bring you a regular bar of Hersheyâs.
Research was published recently documenting the significantly lower level of health in the US compared to the UK. One obvious difference is the perponderance of corn syrup in the US food supply.
You do understand that caramel is nothing more than lightly toasted sugar, right?
I mean, I couldnât help but think, if youâre going to eat something with caramel in it, you should probably expect to taste quite a bit of sugar, seeing as how thatâs what real caramel is made from.
James, you obviously have never eaten half a pound (the minimum in one sitting) of Thorntonâs original caramel toffee. Sweet, yes, but balanced by a cheery acidity and lovely mouth-feel. I did not get this with my Ghirardelli. And Lambchop, thank you for reminding me of the brand name, Hersheyâs, of the stuff they brought back last year. Yes, I have to admit that it was even worse!
For eight years I lived in Lafayette, Indiana, and on both sides of town hugh corn-processing plants polluted the air with a white, noxious mixture of toxic gasses. The town residents were totally at the mercy of the daily wind direction. The trucks full of grain would line up to dump their loads of corn, and whole trains of tanker cars carrying corn syrup would leave town for destinations all over the world. I vowed to myself that I would leave town just as soon as I was economically able to do so, as the putrid smell of corn processing was not what I wanted to smell for the rest of my life. So, you see, I am harboring some hostile feelings about corn syrup.
With regard to chocolate, I purchase Belgian dark chocolate at a very reasonable price from my Trader Joeâs grocery store. Another one of my favorites has 88% cocoa, a Black Panther bar, made right here in Indianapolis. In the past five years there has been a literal explosion of chocolate choices available in every supermarket.
Unfortunately, what they brought you was the stuff Ghirardelli produces for the mass market. Ghirardelli makes wonderful chocolate, but those little artificially flavored squares are pure evil.
For a real taste of San Franciscoâs finest, however, they should have brought you a loaf of Boudinâs Sourdough and a bottle of Anchor Steam. What were they thinking?
The thing is, most Americans donât like chocolate. They like Hersheyâs and thatâs about it. Just like how most Americans donât really like classical music, only Vivaldiâs Four Seasons.
Iâm eating about the fifth piece of some tasty chocolate as I type this.
It is homemade and has plenty of cocoa.
I did not make it.
That is another reason why it is so good.
Americans just donât know what theyâre doing with chocolate. I didnât eat one single chocolate bar I liked over there
Chocolate doesnât have to be over 70% to be good either (although I love dark chocolate, I just have to be wary of it due to migraines) we have many, many wonderful types of milk chocolate that softly melts in the mouth. Chocolate with praline and hazlenuts and mint and fudge and toffee and caramelâŚ
Did I get your attention then? 
