I like to think I speak my mind, but occasionally it turns into me blurting something out that would be better phrased differently. Today was one of those occasions
As a new whistle player/owner my mind is consumed by everything whistle. And so, as I mooched around town I was keeping an eye out for anything I could use ā¦like a stickā¦to wrap a cloth round to dry the inside of said whistle.
I spotted a haberdashery shop. Knitting needles. I knew a brainwave would hit me, and a knitting needle would be perfect. In I went, browsing amongst the knitters and sewers, dressed in my jeans and leather jacket, no competition for their M&S finery and matronly shoes, and I spotted a pair of needles with a tiny ball top. Ideal. So an assistant came over and asked if I need helpā¦and thatās when it all went wrong.
Meā¦I just need these needles.
SAā¦Do you need any wool?
Meā¦No thanks, just the needles.
SAā¦Is that size needle mentioned in the pattern?
Meā¦I havenāt got a pattern.
SAā¦Do you need a pattern?
Meā¦No thanks, just the needles.
SAā¦Have you already got wool?
Meā¦No, I donāt need a pattern or wool thanks.
SAā¦Oh, you really need wool to knit with (at this point she looks at me as if Im a bit simple)
Meā¦ I donāt need wool, Im not knitting. I need a needle to put a cloth round it and shove it up my whistle to dry it outā¦
I didnāt buy the knitting needles. The silence in the shop was deafening, as I put the needles down and scuttled out of the shop with the blush reaching up past my ears
I really do need to start engaging my brain before I speakā¦
Wrong, shmong. She might gape and sputter, but you did her a favor by showing her a bigger world and shaking her out of her mental rut. Is using a knitting needle for a swab stick any different than using a drinking glass to trap a wasp? If anything went wrong, it was with her. Rather than letting you escape, she could have made a sale to the crazy lady, after all.
āWelcome to Sports Galore. Thatās a very excellent canoe paddle youāve chosen. Top of the line. Butā¦ermā¦could I interest you in making it a pair?ā
āNo, thanks. Thereās just a huuuge ginormous cake the local bakersā association made for for the festival, and I was chosen to frost it. I only need the one.ā
āGo away. We donāt want your kind here.ā
āFine. Youāre not the only purveyors of paddlery around, you know.ā
Although I must say the word āsewersā made me do a double-take. For a moment I wondered how you do things over there across the Pond.
I donāt even know if sewers is a word now I think about itā¦it must be, mustnāt it? People who sew, multiple sewing people, sewers. Although reading it back now it looks like I refer to a drain (sewer). I donāt envy anyone trying to learn English.
Itās got to be a common word for sewingfolk as well. Or sewists, if you like. Iām not one, so I never thought about it. Just one of the more unfortunate double-duty formations weāve got. Thereās āseamsterā, but it makes me think of trade unions and wage disputes.
Just checked definitions with Merriam-Webster, and they list the conduit, of course, and yes, people who sew as well, so youāre in the clear. And hereās one I didnāt know: āa medieval household officer often of high rank in charge of serving the dishes at table and sometimes of seating and tastingā. No pronunciation given for that one, though; I assume itās the same as for the gunk chute.
I remember a household book my long ago ex mother-in-law had, which described the roles of household servants, and it was fascinating. I love finding out interesting things from the past.
I say stand your ground next time and buy the needles anyway, and to the devil with her bebogglements. Thereās a good reason people like us are in the world.
That was a cute story.
Do you like Asian food? Next time you go to an Asian restaurant, take your chopsticks home,preferably bamboo vs wood. Use a sharp knife,like a sheetrock knife, to split the tip for a distance of about an inch and a half. Thatās perfect for holding a small piece of cloth for swabbing or oiling.
A piece of an old t-shirt is perfect for this.
I was once part of a band named āThe Sewer Singing Machineā. Spent most of our introductory time pointing out that it ārhymes with mower, not manureā.
Just in the door after spending a dark and damp afternoon in the deep heart of east Clare, around Tuamgraney and Scariff. And to a background of all day wall to wall coverage of the papal visit.
Actually, you could also go to a music shop (or the internet) and buy a recorder swabbing stick - they already have the āeyeā for inserting a cloth. Or one of the little microfibre brushes Mollenhauer sells nowadays for soprano recorders (picked one up during a recorder festival - I might even have used it once or twice). Though when I asked the question here I was informed that whistles donāt need swabbing out at all (the hole at the end of a Sweetone is so small that not much cloth fits anyway).
And the lady in the knitting shop was an idiot, as Nanohedron said. How did she know that you donāt have mountains of wool at home (or spin your own) and knit following your inspiration instead of a pattern? (Both true for me - though I still buy knitting needles every now and then, without anybody ever asking me to justify myself.)
I didnāt know swabbing sticks were sold for recorders. But the sorry tale has a good ending. My mate next door does a lot of knitting and has a couple of spare plastic needles she no linger uses. And a needle with some thin cloth will go in my Sweetone. I have the cleaning brush already
Well, it must be obvious - afl2277 is just plain suspicious, pure and simple. Anyone in jeans and leather jacket obviously doesnāt belong in a knitting shop; only those of more genteel apparel need apply, because that is the done thing. All else would be skulking. If youāre going to rock the boat, donāt be surprised if your fellow passengers toss you overboard.
Itās why I learned how to swim.
You spin your own wool, Kade1301? How is it you donāt hew your own needles?
Well, it must be obvious - afl2277 is just plain suspicious, pure and simple. [/quote]
Suspicious? Me?
Suspicious would be someone who drives about in a black van like a spookā¦a van that used to belong to the local undertaker which is now camped in at van meets.
Suspicious would be someone who sits in a plain back van at the side of the park making screeching noises.
Now does that sound like me? Really? Suspicious indeed. Actuallyā¦now I think about it ā¦
