I like to think I speak my mind, but occasionally it turns into me blurting something out that would be better phrased differently. Today was one of those occasions
As a new whistle player/owner my mind is consumed by everything whistle. And so, as I mooched around town I was keeping an eye out for anything I could use ā¦like a stickā¦to wrap a cloth round to dry the inside of said whistle.
I spotted a haberdashery shop. Knitting needles. I knew a brainwave would hit me, and a knitting needle would be perfect. In I went, browsing amongst the knitters and sewers, dressed in my jeans and leather jacket, no competition for their M&S finery and matronly shoes, and I spotted a pair of needles with a tiny ball top. Ideal. So an assistant came over and asked if I need helpā¦and thatās when it all went wrong.
Meā¦I just need these needles.
SAā¦Do you need any wool?
Meā¦No thanks, just the needles.
SAā¦Is that size needle mentioned in the pattern?
Meā¦I havenāt got a pattern.
SAā¦Do you need a pattern?
Meā¦No thanks, just the needles.
SAā¦Have you already got wool?
Meā¦No, I donāt need a pattern or wool thanks.
SAā¦Oh, you really need wool to knit with (at this point she looks at me as if Im a bit simple)
Meā¦ I donāt need wool, Im not knitting. I need a needle to put a cloth round it and shove it up my whistle to dry it outā¦
I didnāt buy the knitting needles. The silence in the shop was deafening, as I put the needles down and scuttled out of the shop with the blush reaching up past my ears
I really do need to start engaging my brain before I speakā¦
Wrong, shmong. She might gape and sputter, but you did her a favor by showing her a bigger world and shaking her out of her mental rut. Is using a knitting needle for a swab stick any different than using a drinking glass to trap a wasp? If anything went wrong, it was with her. Rather than letting you escape, she could have made a sale to the crazy lady, after all.
āWelcome to Sports Galore. Thatās a very excellent canoe paddle youāve chosen. Top of the line. Butā¦ermā¦could I interest you in making it a pair?ā
āNo, thanks. Thereās just a huuuge ginormous cake the local bakersā association made for for the festival, and I was chosen to frost it. I only need the one.ā
āGo away. We donāt want your kind here.ā
āFine. Youāre not the only purveyors of paddlery around, you know.ā
Although I must say the word āsewersā made me do a double-take. For a moment I wondered how you do things over there across the Pond.
I donāt even know if sewers is a word now I think about itā¦it must be, mustnāt it? People who sew, multiple sewing people, sewers. Although reading it back now it looks like I refer to a drain (sewer). I donāt envy anyone trying to learn English.
Itās got to be a common word for sewingfolk as well. Or sewists, if you like. Iām not one, so I never thought about it. Just one of the more unfortunate double-duty formations weāve got. Thereās āseamsterā, but it makes me think of trade unions and wage disputes.
Just checked definitions with Merriam-Webster, and they list the conduit, of course, and yes, people who sew as well, so youāre in the clear. And hereās one I didnāt know: āa medieval household officer often of high rank in charge of serving the dishes at table and sometimes of seating and tastingā. No pronunciation given for that one, though; I assume itās the same as for the gunk chute.
I remember a household book my long ago ex mother-in-law had, which described the roles of household servants, and it was fascinating. I love finding out interesting things from the past.
I say stand your ground next time and buy the needles anyway, and to the devil with her bebogglements. Thereās a good reason people like us are in the world.
I thought about dowl, and that would be fine for my Feadog, but my Clarke Sweetone small bore would be too small for dowl and cloth. So I tried to think of something that would fit both of themā¦and plastic wouldnāt scratch which is a bonus
