I always forget how to spell that.
Anyway, I want to get a small one that is portable and will clean one room (a dorm room) and is not too expensive.
Suggestions?
There are vvaaccuummss in the building but I can never track them down and they don’t half work, so I just want to get one of my own.
You spelled it right. Make sure you get one that really sucks.
If you do not have carpet, a vacuum will cause more trouble than it is worth.
The Justification:
On an uncarpeted floor, vacuums blow dust, particular fine dust, around. As much blows around, and UP on your furniture, as goes into the vacuum. You then have to get it off the furniture, out of your linens, out of your nose, etc.
Vacuums require bags. When they fill, you dispose of them. This is a $$ process. Bagless vacuums sound like they don’t require this $$ process, but they require filters, instead. Even if you can empty the canister, the filter clogs quickly. You have to manually clean the filter. This process raises a huge cloud of the stuff you just vacuumed up, including stuff you had no idea was there. They suck up fine particulate matter, like dust mites and skin cells. It adheres to the filter like a thick layer of flour. Like 1/4-inch worth. You have to do this outside or inside a large plastic garbage bag. The crud from your floor will be all over your arms, on your clothes, in your hair, and everywhere, and then . . . and then . . . not only will you you STILL have to buy MORE FILTERS, but you’ll itch.
Filters are where the vacuum manufacturers make their money . . . the vacuum is cheap, but the filters are $$$$ compared to bags. Really outrageously priced. If you can find them. They change styles frequently and stop making them as soon as they issue a new version of the vacuum, making you keep buying vacuums.
Doctors are big on recommending these right now because the words “HEPA filter” sounds like what’s used in lab biocontainment gadgets and because the vacuum industry promotes them to allergists. Doctors don’t clean houses, so they’re pretty much clueless about this.
To do an adequate job, you will require 2 vacuums–a larger one and a smaller one to get behind furniture. Or, if you have only a smaller one, you will have to do the whole process on your hands and knees, which sucks.
Even after vacuuming, you’ll STILL need to wet mop.
The Viable Alternatives:
a. Swiffering: Get one of the larger Swiffer DRY floor dusters. It consists of a fluffy disposable cloth attached to a lightweight, folding swivel handle. You run this over your floor and everything except rocks will stick to it. Simply swivel it behind your furniture. Keep it ON the floor–don’t flap it around. Go all around the room and then run it right out the door, where you’ll take off the used cloth and deposit it in the trash.
b. Microfiber Cloths: There are several makers of similar systems which employ a microfiber cloth. Dust sticks to microfiber cloths. You go over the floor dry and then you wash the cloth out. You may then be able to mop the floor with the WET cloth.
c. Broom and Mop: This works as well as “a” and “b.” Using a PLASTIC broom with fluffy ends on the bristles (a Libman or something, not a cheap one), sweep carefully so that you do not stir up dust. Scoop and drag rather than sweeping cartoon-style. After the surface dirt is out of the way, wet mop with a sponge or cloth mop.
There is no need for this mopping to be a huge production. I sweep and then mop with a microfiber car-detailing towel dunked in a small pail or in the sink. Yup, by hand. No mop handle required. It’s good for your back. You can also tie the cloth around a broom.
Regardless of which method you use, you will STILL need to dust and clean your furniture. Wipe off all surfaces, even sides, with a microfiber cloth dampened with water. Even wood. The cloth does not need to be “wet.” Just “damp.” Alternatively, you can use a Swiffer duster, either a mitt or one on a handle. Swiffers dust very well. (I use both, depending.)
If there is actual soil on the surfaces, use a bit of Murphy Oil Soap in water you mop with.
Watch out what you mop your floor with, because most leave a sticky residue if they are not completely rinsed. Use Murphy Oil Soap or Armstrong Floor Cleaner for ceramic tile and no-wax floors. Do not use ammonia, or you may ruin the wax the school puts on the floors.
The fastest method? Broom and wet-mop.
What does my hospital use? Definitely not vacuums. They use a 3-foot-wide Swiffer followed by wet-mopping. Then, they wet-wipe all the furniture. (That should give you a clue as to how useful Infection Control things HEPA vacuuming is.)
But, I assume you’re going to really want a vacuum. If so, a Eureka Boss SuperLite is what I recommend. I have one of these and it’s as effective as my big Hoover. It’s small and it collapses–the handle pushes down inside the canister part–so it won’t take up a lot of space. It also lies flat to go under furniture. The canister is easily removable to dump out and the filter cleans fairly easily without permanent clogging. I’ve been using the same one more than a year now.
I’ve carpet.
Oh.
Now say “thank you” to the nice lady, Cranberry. 
Thank you, nice lady.
You’re welcome. Save that helpful advice above, though, because it’ll come in handy when you’ve been moved to a less posh dorm. You can still use the dusting advice now, too.
OK, then you’ll need that Yellow Wonder above, or maybe one of these Dirt Devil Power Bagless Sticks. Dirt Devils are good vacuums. (These are both about the same size, too.)
Questions for Lamby, Goddess of Domesticity:
1). What about the new Dyson vacs? They claim they have solved the problem of bagless vacs and overcome the difficulties with filters.
2). What about those vacs that filter everything through water (Rainbow, etc.)? I’m guessing they work something along the same principle as a hookah. Those would, I think, cover the filter problem.
3). I only vacuum once every 5 or 6 years, or else when it really needs it. When are you going to come by and do my place up right? 
djm
I heard Dysons got awful ratings from Consumer Reports. They performed terribly. They’re overpriced, too.
Plus, their appearance simply does not inspire me with confidence. They look ridiculous. It makes me think they’re trying to overcompensate for something. And they scream “spendthrift!”
I’m afraid I’m just more of a Hoover girl at heart. Big, strong, and dependable will win me over every time, especially when combined with a sure sense of economy.
2). What about those vacs that filter everything through water (Rainbow, etc.)? I’m guessing they work something along the same principle as a hookah. Those would, I think, cover the filter problem.
Umm, sure. If you say so. All you’d have to do then is scrape mud out of them?
Besides, I don’t want anything in my home that is supposed to stay wet. Wet + Florida = Fungus + Mildew + Stench. I already struggle to keep that at bay! Why on earth would I deliberately run my home’s air supply through a mildew-infested contraption?
Just thinking about it is making me itch.
Joseph, tell our friends what happens to a wet washcloth that doesn’t dry out fast enough . . .
3). I only vacuum once every 5 or 6 years, or else when it really needs it. When are you going to come by and do my place up right? >
Oh, I think it’s far too soon to begin talk of that. We’re still only at “only one PM a month, please,” remember?
I’m sure a housecleaning service local to you would do just as well.
(Drat! Foiled again. 
)
djm
I have that yellow Eureka thing Lambchop mentioned in my dorm, and it’s wonderful. I think I paid $35 for it.
That Dirt Devil vaccum is worthless in my experience. My daughter got one when she was in college about 10 years ago(for carpet) and it did very little. I tried it on my hardwood floors and it wasn’t much on them either.
If I was you Cran, I’d get rid of the carpet if possible. A throw rug can fill the bill for the cost of a cheap vac and you can shake it out. Really, you won’t find a truly cheap vac that is going to give you enough power to clean dirt out of carpet. I think you will be wasting your money on one.
Even on carpet, a broom is going to get rid of more dirt than these.
I’ve got a friend and also an aunt that have Rainbow vacs that are old, old, old and still work great. They also do a better job than any vac I’ve ever used. They filter the dust with water so you have to dump the dirty water when you are finished and they are very bulky and heavy as you can imagine. But, they do a dandy job if you are strong.
I’ll stick with my old Electrolux that I’ve had for almost thirty years now. It works fine for me.
Those are the biggest hassle, and they tear up your carpet, but damn if they don’t get 'em extremely clean.
I’m not strong. I’ve very weak of muscle and unable to lift much, unfortunately.
See there? Yet another satisfied user!
Thank you everybody.
Those Rainbows cost a lot too way back when. I’ll have to look them up now out of curiosity to see what they’re going for- OH MY!!!
$729. re-furbished
New- $2,050
I’d have to really really hate dirt to pay that.
Oh, dear! $729 for someone else’s mildew smell! Oooooh!
<Excuse me, please. I need to go sniff some Clorox!>
Yes, that’s a lot for a vac. I have a refurbished Kirby that is tremendously powerful, and then pours all the dirt right back out through the bag all over the place. My vac is the dirtiest thing in the house. Yet a new Kirby costs thousands.
I have been looking at central vacs. A small one for about $600 could be mounted on a dolly, and a muffler can be purchased to keep the noise down. Its actually the powered hoses that cost the bucks on central vacs - more than the vacs - but they’re strong, well filtered, and easy to clean.
djm