Found in http://bambooworld.ca (great site!)
He wanted The One Ring and at first I said no…but look what he gave me for it!
For his 1st heinous crime he was made to wear the shirt of flax that itched
and for his 2nd most heinous crime he was sentenced to wear the pan pipes of penance.
How am I supposed to drink through this? It’s got holes in it!
Thank you, o Divine One, for this miraculous gift of music making. I shall go forth and spread great joy!! ::hear the music swell in the background::
~Andrea
who needs more practice with this caption-creating business
P.S. rbm, that was great!! 
Never Was Piping So Gay!
O’Driscoll scattered the cards
And out of his dream awoke:
Old men and young men and young girls
Were gone like a drifting smoke;
But he heard high up in the air
A piper piping away,
And never was piping so sad,
And never was piping so gay.
extract from The Host Of The Air - W. B. Yeats
Oh, thank you, oh, Maker of things with holes. Which end do I smoke this from??
“Honest officer, It’s a flute. I don’t know why smoke was coming out of my friends over there.”
Panpipes of penance. As a panpipe player I really like that one.
Or maybe…if I may RBM,
“The Great God Yukapuk then smote Jeffrey the Lame for another poor offering of a crudely made, poorly tuned green bamboo flute. The Great God Yukapuk had thought that the Flaxen Shirt of Itchiness and Panpipes of Penance had been enough of a warning. Sometimes cruel lessons must be taught.”
Mark V.
“It’s not for me Honey, I bought this one for you. Really, I did…”
Unable to find a whistle for his annual ritual sacrifice to the Crystal People, The Earl That Blasphemes Blessings attempts to appease them with a common flute instead.
Sara
“What do you mean, using one pipe for all the notes? You’re kidding.”
I ask for a musical instrument, and you give me this thing?!
GDARFC
I said, “please give me some fruit!”
OK!! So my name is Job! But this is going TOO far, dammit!!!
Another unsuccessful attempt at attracting hummingbirds.
… and I will name you “Flunta Kinte”
Only the @#$%#$&$#ing drum circle to put up with after this stupid flute ritual, and then I can go home and pop open a cold one…These twits will believe ANYTHING.
LOL!!
-After a dark and stormy night, the now useless form of a larval flute-colony still hung from his neck as rosy-fingered dawn lit the sky, catching the Sultan’s turret in a shaft of light. Maul Aflotides consecrated a young flute while his flute-speakers took donations and sold CDs.
-The empire would never lack for flutes now, essential to navigate the cultural universe and keep civilizations from cut-off. Flute navigators encased in music-filled booths required flutes to move vast emotion across the cosmos, eating and breathing flute music while transporting entire audiences. It was said the wildly mutated navigators had once been fully human.
(Wouldn’t “Wildly Mutated Navigators” be a great name for a rock band?)
“This is why we need to start using insecticides on the cane!”