A study at MIT has found that aluminum foil headwear (“Among a fringe community of paranoids..the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals”) actually amplifies certain frequency bands allocated to the US government, as well as a mobile phone range, and is largely ineffective through the rest of the radio spectrum. But we can we trust the study, or are They controlling the researchers?
Abstract
Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government’s invasive abilities. We theorize that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.
ah - I grew up right next to the Voice of America antenna farm. Plus - we had the WLW tower, which back then was broadcasting at a huge amount of watts. Kids would get WLW on their braces - we’d get bleedover from VOA blocking stations on the TV (lessons in Cuba, anyone?) - and my dad, who was a HAM would go crazy.
So, what should we be wearing? Back in about 1980 there was a Mandarin instructor at the Defense Language Institute who wore a bucket on his head. It looked like it might have been galvanized steel. Any research on that?
Living as I do in an area beset with sea-birds of many varieties, I’m attracted to the idea of aluminium helmets (sorry about the capricious English spelling). Non-absorbent so that the offending ejecta doesn’t seep through to the pate, and exceptionally washable. Fashionable? At my age, who cares?
The problem is actually two-fold. You’ve got all this increasing amount of radio energy blasting your body 24/7, plus you’ve also got microwaves zapping you from communications satelites. The only truly effective way to protect yourself is to use a grounded foil of copper window screening. This will actually attract these unwanted negative energies away from you and drain them harmlessly into the earth … or so we thought, until we found ourselves beset by giant 800’ long earthworms singing Da Doo Run Run. What Slude’s study does NOT reveal is that aluminium helmets are the only light-weight cranial shield effective against the saliva of giant 800’ long singing earthworms.
Oooh, I’d like to listen in on those broadcasts, I bet they talk about ET and stuff - but I don’t have any aluminium foil. Can I use clingfilm? (And just in case ‘clingfilm’ isn’t an international term: plastic foil.)
I don’t want to make too much of it, but there’s a glaring inadequacy in the protective powers offered by this suit in one particular and not unimportant area…
