http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fgDow7wqaTg
Gick…
“African blackwood” is a myth perpetuated by makers to hide the truth about what flutes are actually made from.
Soon we will see an ad like this in the Used Instrument Exchange:
FS: Keyless Bake-Sh*te Flute in D. Beautifully and painstakingly hand crafted from the pastures of Ireland. Wonderfully figured with oat and barley burl patterns. Only played once, in as(s)-new condition. Best kept in low humidity environment to prevent cloggage. Serious inquiries only. PM or e-mail for photo and aroma samples. Priced to smell.
Now I think we know what they’re up to in Pakistan, eh?
Now I think we know what they’re up to in Pakistan, eh?
It would be some great news if they could actually make a flute in tune like the one on the video…
I can’t top that one with any of my videos (see last years at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFQhO3LWtQk. I’m not even going to try!
I suppose with enough added Epoxy that one will create a substance with the same lovely qualities as some of the plastics in use. Unfortunately, my neighbor who had the herd of cows sold his herd years ago. Horses just don’t cut it for the raw material. Neither do goats or sheep. Or dogs. The cat box has some possibilities with all the added mica.
Actually, to make the substance we call African Blackwood or Grenadilla, you start with a porous and lightweight wood such as Balsa. First you soak it in a vat of India Ink (the same process is used to make Indian Ebony). Then you boil it for about a week in a vat of melted Delrin. Eventually it penetrates all of the pores. Do it outside as this step stinks up the kitchen. Finally, when you are done turning the flute out of this substance, you have to carefully hand paint the wood grain onto the wood to make it look realistic. This takes years to do correctly which is why waiting lists are so long. One has to bleach the India Ink out of the wood on the surface, and then reapply it growth-line by growth-line, waiting about 2 weeks in between each. Occasionally makers will put a brownish shade of ink in the first step and thus we end up with something they call Cocus. But the ink gives a rash to some people.
Good one!
Casey
Casey’s method is ok but I prefer the cow sh#t/asbestos/irradiated mercury mixture.
Then there’s this material dicovered back in the '70s:
http://youtu.be/lRPQSxp25z4
lovely.
Aha. The Coproflute. Guaranteed to get you a third (pronounced Oirish way) in the Fleadh! (I hope a certain Mr. McCarty isn’t reading this thread! Might get ideas…)
What, like this?
Not available in the UK, Kirk. 
Seriously? I wonder why they do that?
Edit - Just did a little quick research. Since the video was posted by ABC it has to do with licensing restrictions. It’s all about the money, as usual.
Naturally, a Coproflute (*TM) is also guaranteed to play cacaphonically…
Does it work if you view it through this page? (scroll down to video)
Nope.
Crap! Pardon the pun. In any event, it takes place backstage at a silly TV show we have here called Dancing with the Stars. Some of the staff including old pro Len Goodman are trying to get dancer Tristan McManus to say “third” several different times which sounds like a naughty to us silly 'merkins when pronounced in an Irish accent (reference Jem’s post). Tristan acts mad and storms out of the room but it’s all just staged for “entertainment value”.